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this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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Asklemmy
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This might be specific to your region? Most trans people I know are grateful if you even make an effort. Even if you get it wrong sometimes.
It's probably mostly a very vocal online minority. The few trans people I've come across irl (there aren't many trans people) have typically been regular people.
Could be. Grateful and understanding does describe my two trans friends. However they we friends before they transitioned. So the relationship was established and they knew I cared about them.
I knew one for ten years before they transitioned. So yeah I try not to dead name them but it takes time to adjust. For me it took about 2 years before I didn't think of their old name and have to adjust it before speaking.
I was talking about them with a mutual friend at a party. Someone I don't know yells at me from across the room "we don't use that name here." I'm better friends with them then you and you just made the entire party aware of their status.
Maybe it's just the people who make it a big deal publicly and like to challenge people. They tend to be the most noticeable in the community.
Yeah, I’m trans and there’s a push and pull there. I spent a long time trying to get people to understand and speak up for me so I don’t have to be the one to correct when I’ve been misgendered, but I remember being young and confrontational once and I got into fights over it and probably made trans people look like psychos at the time. And I was definitely worse to be around when I was doing more activism and community support.
I’ve long since accepted that gentle nudges and honest connections are the key to mass acceptance, but that at times we will have to make showy displays of our struggle for equal rights. And that doesn’t mean I don’t get to be angry or frustrated when I’m being hurt, it just means I need to accept that people trying are trying and that my role as someone who’s increasingly an elder in my community is partly to encourage people to know when to yell and when to gently correct
I think this is a much more useful strategy for convincing people to change. If someone like I did, mentions they aren't happy about, for instance, pronouns, then people start lashing out. I might have had a conversation on this, but honestly the tone in some of the responses isn't likely to convince me to listen. Even when I start out saying I'm going to end up on the losing side of this.