Why The Patriarchy Wants You To Hate Incels (www.everythingishorrible.net)

submitted 1 week ago by join_the_iww@hexbear.net to c/politics@hexbear.net

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[-] Verenata@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

Sorry pal, usually God awful takes like that present with the above.

It's so fucking easy for you to decide women have to play a part in educating our abusers as a man. Dead fucking simple to decide that for us? Have you literally no fucking self awareness.

Yet again we speak our minds and men ignore us and bulldoze our point with their take on OUR existence.

There's several women havs pointed out it's rooted in misogyny and objectification in this very thread. There are reeeems of theory by women on male violence. Every bit is ignored by people like you cos of some sympathy for extremists.

Why is it when men misbehave its our job to fix you? Why can't you fix yourselves?

Incels and men judging by yourself can not be talked to, will not listen and will never respect us and that's clear as day by this thread and your insistence that you are right despite being not a woman or an incel.

Every time any women who literally knows why she rejected an incel tells them why, it's ignored because they'd rather blame us or apologise for their bad behaviour.

No it's men's job to break through this ingrained misogyny, we as women have tried, incels doubled down. Can't help those who don't want to help themselves and certainly not when they abused us.

[-] vritrahan@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I still feel we are arguing over different things. There are young confused boys who are struggling with life and adulthood and a section of men are telling them that at least a part of their problems is coming from how women behave. Then there's your middle aged uncle who hits his wife. Two very different groups. The latter cannot be saved, no arguments from me.

How about we compromise and say that other men use 'elder brotherly guidance' and peer pressure to pull them out while women keep their distance from them. Is that acceptable?

[-] Verenata@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

And of those confused young boys only one group choses to blame women and join an extremist group that has killed people because of its views.

That's not normal and it's not something to be treated like it's normal. It's insane.

That is literally perfect thank you <3

[-] vritrahan@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I have helped out quite a few younger men who looked up to me and I did "fix" most of them. I can't say how much of that was me versus the maturity that comes with age. There are ones I couldn't, whom I don't talk to anymore and wouldn't try again either. But I do believe that a big chunk, if not the majority, can improve because I've seen it happen myself.

And women can do a lot here if they want. Three girls simultaneously saying "eww" or "that's very uncool" does way more damage to a young man's confidence than you realise. You have to let it cook.

Reactionary ideologies like these prey on the vulnerable. And we cannot just abandon all vulnerable. They can be communism's biggest allies because they are usually the most exploited.

[-] Verenata@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago

Well that's wholesome but it's not your job and also are they addressing how they view women? It's okay to deprogram as an incel but if you haven't addressed the subconscious or conscious misogyny that lead to that extremism then it's a plaster on a wound, not a cure i feel.

Dude we have tried, I can't speak for anyone else but I didn't abandon the men in group because they were incels, we fought to reign in their shit, we educated them on what women actually look for, we gave them everything other men in this chat have claimed will help incels and from experience it never ever works because when someone is in an ideology that blames women they inherently don't trust us/value us/value our opinion because they are already blaming us.

In fact trying to give incels a chance is what lead to several of my friends being stalked, harassed and bullied and that's not discussing my own experience.

In the end someone in this thread literally suggested the idea of sex coaches for incels, that's insane. That is a disconnect that I can't begin to discuss. We do not need comfort women for incels to stop being hateful.

[-] vritrahan@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

That is an unfortunate experience. And the comfort women idea is just eww. I've only seen this idea floated in far-right circles.

[-] Verenata@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Multiple people in this thread my dude. This is what happens when extremism isn't shut down.

Edit: I was so harsh earlier, I want to say sorry. This whole thread was horrific to read and genuinely terrifying. Watching men decide for me or other women that we owe our abusers time to reform them and we are the problem for pushing back. It's a lot. Its scary, it shows men haven't learn the basic lesson we've being screaming for centuries "stop making decisions for us and taking away our agency". A key lesson a lot of people in this thread could do with internalising imo.

I think what you are doing to help big brother these peeps is great honestly.

I just worry that without condemning it as the extremism it is, we get comments making a serious suggestion for sex coaches for incels in a supposed safe space for leftists. How does that happen?