Software often has pretty good documentation. But real-world things don't.
And if I don't know exact steps to do something and what to expect, I just can't really push myself to try it the first time. That can be put into an interesting sentence.
"I can't do it because I haven't done it."
Recent example:
I want to take a bus. But I haven't yet used the company that operates these buses. I do have an RFID card with e-wallet that is compatible with this company. That is because they operate as intercity transport in the same region, and same tickets are valid there. Except for one line, the one I am most interested in.
Now comes the problem.
How am I supposed to board? How do I buy the ticket? On other lines, am I supposed to prove I have one?
Before I start with the issues of unknowns, I should mention I so far spent 3 hours trying to find the information. That includes searching for videos which may show what others do in the background. In one similar case I found the answer from a TV news report filmed near a bus stop, and my answer was in the background.
So, boarding. Is it front doors only, or do the doors not matter? I've seen both.
Purchasing the ticket: There was a mention of possible cash payment, buying the ticket "from the driver". I managed to find photos from inside the bus, and to further my confusion, there were 3 terminals. All of them RFID-compatible.
2 are ticket validators next to both doors.
1 is on-board computer (apprears to be TransData Vesna model) along with a ticket printer and RFID terminal, operated by bus driver.
If it was just one of those, I'd know what to do.
I found one video from that special line. The person presented a QR code of valid ticket to the driver before boarding. But I don't use that payment method.
But if it's front doors only, why are there validators in the rear? Or was that just something specific to this line?
Now, I could do the one obvious thing, ask the driver. But I really hate talking to people I don't know.
An alternative I am contemplating is sending an e-mail to the company with my questions. They do have one for customer questions.
This is always a problem if I don't know exact steps for something. And even then I am still really anxious before I actually do it for the fist time.
Ohh, I completely understand what you're describing. I was the same way for most of my young adult life, it's seriously debilitating sometimes. My first recommendation would be to try and find a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) because that is what helped me more than anything. I don't like to give armchair diagnoses, but I will say that if you need to spend multiple hours researching an every-day interaction before you feel comfortable attempting it, you almost certainly have something going on that needs more personalized help than strangers on Lemmy can give you.
If therapy isn't an option for you, the best advice I can give is to just... Fake it 'till you make it. Chances are high that you'll be able to figure out what's going on in the moment, even if you're not well prepared beforehand. To use your example of the bus, why do you need to board using the correct door on the first try? What is the worst thing that could happen if you use a door you're not supposed to? At worst, an employee will tell you "hey, you used the wrong door, go use the other one". And then you go to the other door. No harm, no foul.