Yeah after loosing everything multiple times I developed an anti-attachment kind of feeling to things and people.

It's a boring just surviving type of life now. I do what I need to to survive but have no intentions of ownership on anything and don't feel like investing so much time in relationships.

But almost two years ago I bought my first car (I was 44) and I don't want to loose it as I love driving around aimlessly, it keeps my mind busy has a great sound for music and I control the climate. (It's always too cold or hot at work and too cold at home). If it was not for the cost I would spend most of my time driving but I have to preserve the vehicle as long as possible and don't have much money for maintenance amd gas.

It's weird how I could loose almost anything and would not be phased by it. But please let me keep my car, it's the only reason I wake up to go to work and have some hope for the future. But my insurance got raised by 25% last year apparently because other people are bad drivers (I was told too many claims cost insurers too much but I never made a claim, so cause of too many bad drivers I have to pay for them, fuck them charge them or don't let them drive why me !) , gas and parts and everything necessary has gone up and if I don't get a substantial raise I won't be able to keep up.