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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Cummunism@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

tl;dr: have a friend who has historically always been mad when his friends got a gf/wife. He acts like he's 15 years old and saying "bros before hoes" still. He calls me and other friends a yuppie or breeder, and he thinks crosswalks are authoritarian so he has to always be a "rebel" and make it seem like he has the most unique viewpoint in the world. He doesn't change anything about himself, and he's stubbornly proud of having "no filter." This has caused every wife/gf of his friends to not like him. He will never be invited to any kind of social event because he will say stupid shit. Like, nobody has to be a rabid commie all the fucking time. Him and my gf got into a huge fight because he always talks like an asshole, and i live with my gf, so he doesnt come to my house at all because he'll say some shit. He still brings up this fight when im around him, and it's like get the fuck over it. I basically don't share anything about my life that involves my partner now, because he'll say something fucking stupid about her. He also begins a lot of sentences with "well" or "actually" which is never helpful. He literally can't admin when he is wrong, even about the simplest shit.

This really all seemed to get worse once I started my current long term relationship, and then it got way worse when my gf got sick of his shitty attitude and how he treats everyone like an asshole. He literally just can't be chill at all. No leftist(or similar) should be ranting constantly about every single injustice during every single social situation. That is exhausting to be around, and there is a time and place for it, but there has to be an ability to switch that shit off.

Finding and keeping relationships requires changing yourself just a bit, and making compromises, and it's now become apparent he isn't capable of that.

related question: have you ever dumped a long time friend? This is all a somewhat recent change, like the past 3-4 years, and it really seems to be because im in a relationship like most of our friend group, so now he's totally alone. Ive heard him say he's in therapy but i have to wonder if that's true, because it clearly isn't working. I'm annoyed by him but I pity him too because he can't fucking change for anybody at all.

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[-] kristina@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

yes, transphobes get the wall

[-] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Needs to try different meds.

Depression can really warp your brain.

[-] Cummunism@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

i know he used to take some but im pretty sure he never started back up. He probably stopped against doctors orders too.

[-] GrainEater@lemmygrad.ml 14 points 1 year ago

can't dump a long-term friend if you've never had one

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[-] ZapataCadabra@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

Yeah but I just ghosted him. Found out he was a compulsive liar. I still maintained the friendship for a little while, but then there was a whole thing where he cheated on his girlfriend and started lying to everyone about it. I wasn't close to her or anything, but I just kinda got disgusted him lying to my face when I knew the story from another source. Then I remembered other moments in our friendship where in hindsight it seemed like he was definitely lying. It kinda messes with me because I'll get dreams occasionally where we run into each other and it's super awkward.

[-] JK1348@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

I dumped all of them, we grew up on the same block and hood, and every single one of them grew into chauvinistic narcissistic women beaters and beater apologist. From kids to the age of 26 I was too blinded by excessive alcoholism and cocaine addiction to realize I was being used by them and when I attempted to take my own life at my rock bottom all of them showed me who they truly were. The only thing I regret is not having a time machine to tell my younger self to grow away from them sooner.

Always look at how people treat others because it's a reflection of how they'll treat you

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this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2023
84 points (100.0% liked)

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