Marycat1

So I got a septoplasty on the 11th and recovery has had some ups and downs but has overall been ok. I was wondering, however, how long after this surgery it is it ok to exercise? I am a college XC and track athlete and running is important to me.

My doctor didn’t give me a specific time frame, but online I heard it is anywhere from 1-6 weeks. I will be 11 days post surgery tomorrow and am hoping to do some light jogging (about 35% of my usual speed).

My recovery so far has been mixed, the first few days were awful, where as the last few have been ok. I’ve struggled greatly with the discomfort and blood tinged mucus in my throat, but other than that have felt good. My eating was ok, I’ve eaten mostly soft foods but occasionally have had something risky (chips, really hot and cold foods, etc). My hydration, however has been excellent, as I have mostly drank water and the adequate amount (especially when the mucus was bad lol). I have done a small bit of physical activity in the last 10 days, mostly just walking my dog and occasionally jogging in place or in circles.

My follow up appointment went well, my doctor said that the septum was healing fine and there was no infection. She did mention there was a small amount of blood clotting though.

Has anyone else had a similar concern or know the recommended amount of time to wait before exercising?

Today started out normal, then my mom and I were talking about me getting a job. I mentioned being a dishwasher at a local baseball stadium (young children are invited to work there every summer). My mom then got really defensive and stated all the negatives of being a dishwasher but said that if that’s what I wanted, that it’s fine. She likes to give off mixed messages sometimes.

I ended up getting frustrated and told her that this is what I want (I always do the dishes for my family and enjoy doing it, whether it’s first thing in the morning or late at night). It is also one of the few jobs there that doesn’t require much social interaction, most of the jobs there involve waitressing and vending and I’m just not into it. I’ve applied for other jobs in my area and have had several interviews, but nobody has hired me because of my lack of experience.

Anyway, I walked away from the situation, and went back five minutes later. To my surprise, I managed to calm myself down (ironically by doing the dishes lol). Afterwards, I told her how much I love and appreciate her. I also managed to stay calm when she threw out the idea of her and I going to lunch without telling me sooner.

Tomorrow will be a good day. I’m not going to mention anything stupid, I’m just going to do my chores and behave myself, and hopefully get myself back on the nice list lol.

Has anybody else felt like this? I’m one of those people that is super sensitive by the smallest thing, and one little thing can ruin my day.

So I had my septoplasty today, and I admit it, the surgery wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. Honestly, I barely remember anything about being in the OR, other than what it looked like. I don’t remember how I got put to sleep, I feel like maybe I wore a mask, but at the same time, can’t remember.

I do remember, however, how the recovery room was. I hate to say this, considering I usually hate being in the recovery room after surgery, but this time was absolutely wonderful. I woke up to realize that it was over (the best part), and on top of it, my nose didn’t even have stents in it! My nurse was wonderful and gave me medicine as I was sore and a little nauseous. Also TMI, She also helped me go to the bathroom, which has always been a big issue for me after anesthesia for some reason as I have always to. At first I actually asked her if she could insert a catheter because I had to go so bad, but she suggested I try something else first. Surprisingly, I actually did manage to relieve myself that time. After that, she and the other nurse told me to close my eyes for a while. I did, but never actually fell asleep. My ENT actually admitted to me that the deviation was worse than she thought, but I can already breathe so much better and am doing well overall.

Now onto the not so fun part, I’ve been bleeding quite a lot and have a really large blood clot in my nose (which I was told is normal, but I am not allowed to blow it out). I am also not able to rinse with nasal rinse until tomorrow. It is also very hard for me to eat and talk as I am sore and have blood dripping down my throat, but overall, I’m glad I got this surgery.

So it is currently 1:30 am and I just cannot sleep. I’m getting a septoplasty tomorrow and that’s all I’ve been thinking about. I’m actually not as nervous now as I was before, but still worried about how everything will go.

Am I overreacting? Has anybody else felt like this the night before surgery?

So I’m getting a Septoplasty next week, and I am really nervous about it. Will it hurt? Will I say something stupid under anesthesia? Will my family coddle me afterwards? There are so many concerns I have that make me want to back out.

I’ll start with the background. I’ve had terrible post nasal drip and a stuffy nose for the last three years, which started after I had a cold or sinus infection the week prior. I’ve tried every medication to try and get rid of it (Flonase, Cetrizine, Hydroxyzine, Claritin, Zyrtec, etc), nothing worked. Eventually, I went to see an ENT after turning 18, she did a nasal endoscopy and said that I most definitely have a deviated septum. I got a CT scan later on and she said my sinuses looked great, but that there is a marked narrowing and indentation on my one side. She actually suggested I don’t get surgery, since she believed it was up to me to make the decision and what I thought would be best for my quality of life. I personally had no idea what to do, as I found all of this so confusing. I asked my other doctors what they thought and they said it was a good idea for me to get it done, as they also noticed the deviation and my one doctor who helped me with TMJ issues actually noticed it in a scan I had done on my face (this was before seeing the ENT). He said there was a ton of crap in my sinuses and that’s what’s causing my postnasal drip, and that I should get surgery on it. I decided to listen to him as he has given me so much relief in the last year (he tragically died of cancer a month ago), but I’ve decided that he is the doctor I trust the most.

Anyway, my fear of this began a couple of months ago. I’ve always struggled with the feel of metal against my body, but the actual fear started when my mom was getting a blackhead out of my ear when I was a kid. Either I moved or my mom slipped, but the metal tool she was using unintentionally went far down and scratched my ear canal. There was no major damage, it just scared me because it felt like it had gone pretty deep in there and scratched the bone area of my ear. Since then, I have been really skeptical of anyone touching my ears, or any part of my body where there are bones/cartilage. While I will be put under for my Septoplasty, I am really nervous that I will feel the metal or that it will hurt.

On top of that, I have no idea how the anesthesia will make me act. I’ve heard some people are fine, while others are saying a bunch of stupid stuff. I also worry because my mom had to tell me that I might feel sick afterwards, and to make sure to get an anti nausea medication (which was already the plan lol).

The last thing, which I know I’m overreacting about, is being coddled by my family afterwards. Oftentimes, when I have a procedure or something else done, my parents have a tendency to talk to me in a baby voice, and talk to me forever afterwards, which is what annoys me the most. The other half, asking how they can pamper me and nagging me about how and when to take my medications despite the fact that I stay on top of them.

Am I overreacting? Is this surgery really not that bad and I’m just freaking out for no reason? If anyone here on the Autism spectrum has had this done and felt similar to me, I would love to know how the surgery/recovery went for you.

So today, my sister came home from snowplowing/shoveling my dad’s house. She was all excited because my dad gave her $30 for doing it, and my mom gave her 20. They talked to her afterwards about how it went and how she felt. I’m used to her getting money for stuff like this, but today my parents gave it to her in front of me, and I’ve been really upset ever since.

The thing is, I do chores too. Oftentimes, my parents say they want to praise/pay me, but don’t because I don’t like it. This is true, as I hate praise when I don’t feel it is deserved or if people get all shocked and talk to me in the baby voice. For a while, I left a little container outside my door for my parents to put notes/money in when they felt it was deserved, that helped a lot with feeling acknowledged while also staying calm. I’m considering using that again.

My biggest issue though, is the fact that my dad sees me as a weakling. I am 5’2 and 115 lbs, and my younger sister is about double my size and a bit taller than me. She is also stronger than me, being able to lift 50-60 lbs while I can only lift 20-30. Oftentimes, my dad forbids me from helping at his house, often telling me he needs a “worker bee” and “someone strong” to help with the tasks that need to be done around there, and that my sister meets those qualifications. When he asks me to help him around our house, he often asks, “Are you strong? Can you lift this?” It’s usually something light, like a 5lb garbage bag full of stuff. My mom fills the empty void I have between me and my dad when she takes me to his house and lets me help. Most of the chores are basic stuff like pulling weeds and cleaning up the kitchen, but it’s better than bring told to stay home and do it.

I’m so embarrassed. My younger sister is so much better than me when it comes to making my parents happy. She’s that try hard student with a 4.0 GPA, incredibly strong, an amazing driver and caught up in society. Then there’s me, a retarded imbecile who was nagged 24/7 by my parents in high school because I was in special education, B’s and C’s didn’t get degrees. I was a slow ass runner on the track team and was compared constantly to the best runner, again, by my parents. I’m a weakling and terrible driver as my mom mentioned to her coworker, “My younger daughter is a really good driver, I wish she would just drive herself places. My older daughter, well, she needs a lot more practice.”

I feel like I’ve been coddled all my life and that’s why I am such a failure in society. My parents give me money for no reason at all, and allow me to use theirs whenever I’m shopping. They never give me a budget, and whenever they feel something is unfair between my sister and I, Often intervene and protect me, despite the fact that my sister and I have an excellent relationship and are fair about pretty much everything. It wasn’t until I turned 18 that I became more successful. The second I did, My mom would have me check myself in to doctors appointments and go back by myself because “I’m an adult now.” She didn’t teach me how to do it, She just shot a bunch of information at me the second we got into the lobby. I don’t do well with extemporaneous stuff, but this actually helped me in the future, As I’ve learned to break it down into smaller steps on my own. My mom also had me pick up my prescriptions one time, on my own. She didn’t teach me how to do it, she just had me do it. Same with getting a Visa card and being able to use my own money. My mom is the reason I’m somewhat successful. My dad, on the other hand, coddles me 24/7. When I have a doctors appointment, He always asks if I know what I’m doing, and if I want him to go in with me. He also gives me money for no reason at all, so I assume it’s for emergencies. He also protects me from my younger sister because he doesn’t want me to “ Be taken advantage of,” even though my sister and I are civil for like everything. My mom does the same.

Now to end this rant on a positive note, I will discuss some good qualities in which I have that my sister does not. She’s never checked herself into a doctor’s appointment nor booked or gone to one by herself (she’s still 17, but claims she’s putting off adult skills as long as possible). She also often has my mom cook for her when she doesn’t want to use the stove (I am able to cook for myself 90% of the time). I am also in college and a talented writer, and sometimes, athlete, whereas my sister doesn’t do sports Or really applied to any colleges, but is excellent in band. My parents are still super supportive of me, They support me in my athletics, writing and social life.

So, to the adults with Autism who are the oldest child, have you ever felt this way around your younger siblings/family? I apologize if I’m overreacting, I’m just a little frustrated right now.

So yesterday my mom took me for allergy testing (it was just an evaluation). I have a Septoplasty scheduled in two weeks for my deviated septum and constant post nasal drip, but my mom insisted I get tested for allergies as well. While I was there, they had me do a breathing test which revealed an obstruction in my airway. Because of this, they put me on Trellegy for two weeks.

Last night, it made me feel absolutely awful. I was coughing constantly (not my usual cough from post nasal drip, a dry, hacking cough), and my heart rate was all over the place. I also had a small fever and was very uncomfortable. Today I felt better, but I have been feeling a little off since I took the Trellegy. My temperature is a little bit higher (low grade but similar to yesterday), and I am still coughing and hot. I’ve tried to tell my mom, but she insists that it’s just because I’ve just started taking it and that I’ll be fine. She says I HAVE to keep taking it, no matter what, but my concern is that if I do get sick, I can’t get the septoplasty. I have an appointment tomorrow for my actual allergy testing and I’m going to bring it up to my doctor.

As of right now, I’m sitting in my dad’s car, angry and uncomfortable. Prior to this, I had an argument with my dad as I was having a hard day (because I’m uncomfortable), but I’m not telling him because it will only make things worse. I also missed class unintentionally today because I overslept as I was up most of the night uncomfortable and melting down. I was born premature so my lungs may just have a problem (they collapsed several times when I was in the NICU). I am seeing a pulmonary doctor at the request of my mom, but I’m terrified about what this medication is going to do to me, especially since I was told that some side effects are bronchitis and pneumonia.

Has anyone else had a similar experience to me with Trellegy?

Ok, so I know I’m getting overly excited, but I am just so proud of myself tonight. We had a recruiting event for cross country and were invited to dinner / bonding activities with the team. Two women recruits were staying overnight in a teammates dorm. Our coach was going to be there for dinner/bonding, which was great as he and I weren’t really getting along the last two weeks because he apparently didn’t like that I am a creature of habit lol. But he and I were very civil last night during dinner and after team bonding.

During team bonding, however, the girl who was hosting the two recruits got really sick and was throwing up a lot. Unfortunately, with me being in the game room with the team, I was unaware until I went back to my dorm at about 8:30. My teammate felt really bad and she and another teammate were freaking out as to who would host them, as our coach’s back up host was unable to host and my other teammate could only host one.

For a few minutes I was thinking, and then I realized that I actually had an amazing opportunity. If I hosted, I could say I did it since nobody believes I would because I am a quiet person and have a single dorm, but I could also show my coach/teammates I care by doing this. I also had some extra space. So, at the last minute, I cleaned up my dorm, and texted the group, telling them I’d be willing to host one of the girls. I ended up hosting her while another teammate hosted the other. It is 5 in the morning right now, but I have barely slept all night because I am just so proud of myself for taking on this responsibility and finally stepping up as an upperclassman. Later we are going to breakfast with the coach/recruits, and I am so excited to see how my coach and teammates react. Normally I don’t really care for verbal praise but I think this time it is actually deserved.

The only downside of this, however, is that I have felt really bad for my teammate who was originally supposed to host the two recruits. She felt really bad and kept apologizing, and with me being the sensitive Pisces that I am, I have absorbed these emotions and so badly want to give her a hug and tell her it’s ok. But then again she has supported me so much, and I get along with her so well compared to the other girls on my team. She keeps me sane during the hardest times and is always there when I need something, so I felt the need to return the favor lol.

When I was first talking to the recruits (with the team), I was very quiet and didn’t say much. But when I met up with them later, I was a whole new person. I started by saying, “Nice to meet you, I’m Mary,” on my own accord. Then I went on to tell her that I’ve never hosted before and was a little nervous. She was super understanding as she was kind of quiet too and we ended up talking for most of the time.

Sorry if it sounds like I’m gloating or bragging, this was just an exciting moment and I felt the need to write about it.

All my life, for whatever stupid reason, I’ve always had this intense discomfort when it comes to sleeping in. I’m not just talking about during the week and being late, I’m talking about on the weekends too when I’m allowed to sleep in.

It started when I was a kid. I slept in occasionally, and when I did, My family noticed, And for whatever reason, would say, “Good morning” to me in a baby voice. I hated it. For years after, It got better and worse. Whenever my grandma was over, she would mention it, And say something like, “This is late for you.” It upset me, but I couldn’t say anything.

When I’m in college, I don’t really mind sleeping in, I have a single dorm and nobody knows when I’ve been awake or asleep. But at home, it’s really hard. Often times, My parents lay in their bed until I wake up, and get up right after. I can’t tell if it’s for me or if it’s just them (as they actually enjoy sleeping in). I haven’t said anything about it to them.

Today, I unintentionally slept in until about 10:30. My dad was still laying in bed, but my mom was doing chores around the house. I went outside for a minute to try and cover my tracks And avoid hearing “good morning” or being talked to in a baby voice. Unfortunately, I came inside, and my mom talked to me in a baby voice. I was upset, but didn’t let her know. I went and hid in the bathroom for a minute, and had a mini meltdown. Later, she Wanted to go driving with me, As I’m not a good driver and she wants me to be better (She tells people that her younger daughter, My sister, Is a really good driver and she wishes she would just drive herself places, And that her older daughter, me, isn’t a great driver and needs a lot more practice. My sister did recently get her license, but thankfully, doesn’t drive herself places yet. I made it to where we were going, And I’m happy because my mom is taking me to a grocery store after, and said I can pick out some snacks for my dorm. I am excited because I’ll be coming home for the holidays next weekend, but I do worry about sleeping in. Yesterday I was up early, but I was not.

Has anyone else felt this weird feeling when it comes to sleeping in / being talked to like a child? I also hate praise when it’s Undeserved or told me and a baby voice. I enjoy it from Professors, Coaches, teammates, and friends, But family it always feels so weird.

So I am 19 years old and in college, and I noticed yesterday that my period is suddenly really heavy. I also noticed that this is my second period this month, I got my first one on October 3, and it lasted about 7 days which is normal for me.

Yesterday, I got my period for the second time this month, and it seems really heavy, like I was bleeding everywhere every few minutes. I don’t exactly know how much, but I am worried about blood loss and being sick because of this. I also had really bad cramps last night, which rarely happens, I took ibuprofen and used a hot water bottle but it didn’t do much for me. This morning, I am a bit nauseous, and overall tired.

Is this normal? I’ve never had this issue before.

So yesterday I flipped my mom off. Bad, I know. Yes, it was wrong, yes, I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I was so angry at her yesterday that I just couldn’t stop myself.

It started on Saturday. My mom had made plans for my dad, sister and I to go to our grandma’s house, two hours away, to celebrate Halloween and go trick or treating. Yes, my sister and I are older, but we are still children at heart, plus the area we were going to had all kinds of teenagers (and adults) trick or treating, so we blended in just fine. When my mom told us the plan, she was very specific and stern, saying that we had to be out the door by 7:45 am. I knew there was no way that was going to happen, so I asked her about it, but she was very serious and insisted that we would be ready by then. I was the first one awake, and quietly went downstairs. Unfortunately, my dog heard me and barked, signaling my dad that I was out there. He asked me, “Are you going for a run this early?” I was annoyed but told him that I was not, but the reason I was up early was because we had to leave in 30 minutes. He was surprised but brushed it off. My mom and sister didn’t start getting ready until after 8 am, and we finally got out the door around 9:15. I was fine with this, but would prefer to know if there might be changes in plans/timing.

Once we were on the road, my sister became negative, asking how long truck or treating would be and saying she didn’t really want to go. My parents assured her it wouldn’t be long and it would be fine. We went to a few Halloween events shortly after we arrived, and after that, went to lunch. My sister again began to complain, saying she was tired and wasn’t in the mood to walk for hours trick or treating. My dad took notice of this, and replied, “As far as I’m concerned, you guys just got candy at the Halloween event, I’m fine with going straight home after this.” I was so upset. The whole plan was to spend time with my grandma and go trick or treating, and now my dad and sister didn’t want to go? I asked my parents about this privately afterwards, and they insisted that we would still be going trick or treating. I was so confused. Ultimately we went and had a good time. After that, though, I started getting really upset because of my Misophonia, My sister began to cough and clear her throat, And my parents don’t realize it, This noise still upsets me even as an adult.

On the way home, however, my sister continued to whine about being sad and having emotional problems since she had an IUD put in two days before. I understand that, but I wish she would’ve just told our parents privately without me in the car, as I absorb others emotions way too easily. Once we got home, she continued to complain. She originally wanted to have a friend over the next day, but then said she didn’t want to because our mom goes into a cleaning frenzy every time we have friends over. When this happens, my sister has a meltdown.

The next day, she complained about school and having missing work. She’s one of those people that cries over getting a B, and needs to get straight As all the time. She originally said she was jealous of me because I’m an athlete and my parents invested time in me. But they invest just as much time with her in band. She also said she was worried because she knew her parents would hate her if she didn’t do well in school. All the stuff inside, and I started getting upset. Then I began to complain to my mom. She did the whole emotional thing, And said that she didn’t want to listen to me vent at her for no reason, And then it just makes it harder for her to communicate with me. I thought this was unfair because she vents at me all the time.

Anyway, We were discussing some stuff about college, And I asked my mom if I could bump my meals Up to 15 meals a week instead of 10. She did the evil laugh and said that I don’t even eat 10 a week. I insisted to her that I do, along I have been using them, along with my dining dollars. She glared at me giving me the mean eyes, and said, “OK, show me.” I felt extremely embarrassed because she didn’t believe me, But even more so because I didn’t have any evidence, since the app on my phone doesn’t work half the time. I told her that I take pictures of my meals and send them to her all the time, and she said, “Well, sometimes you do.” I was so angry. Then she mentioned something about My college dorm being dirty. She hasn’t even seen it this year, and she accused me of being dirty, despite the fact that I clean it 2 to 3 times a week. She said the middle was so dirty last year that my dad was horrified, And that from now on every weekend, he’s coming up to clean it. I know this is a lie, because he told me it is, And secondly, He’s the dirty one, My mom literally just yelled at him for leaving clothes behind the toilet and trash behind the chair, and vented at him for living out of a duffel bag. She continued to talk about how I have organization problems because I’m autistic, and need disability services because I was special education as a kid, And I was at my breaking point. I flipped her off, and couldn’t stop myself. My mom got really mad, and said that if I ever did that again, that she was kicking me out of the house.

This is where the coddling comes in. My dad said this was a really extreme punishment, But I told my mom that I was fine with it. My mom is the reason I’m so successful. When my dad would coddle me all the time, I was nothing. I was a shy student With no plans for college or after high school, and didn’t have any adult skills. I was so close to going to the local technical school for a year, My dad insisted I go because he thought I wasn’t ready for college. But I ended up getting into a four-year school and am doing really well.

With my mom, She doesn’t coddle me when it comes to life. The second I turned 18, She had me checking into my doctors appointments myself, booking them, and using my insurance card. She also got me a Visa card. I used to be a terrified child afraid to go to any doctors appointment without my parents with me 24/7, To a confident adult That is able to book my appointment, check myself in, Go back by myself, And schedule follow-up visits. I am also able to use my Visa card on my own. I don’t have a job yet, but I’ve had several interviews. When my dad takes me to appointments, He asks if I want him to come with me and if I know what I’m doing, And I assure him that I’m fine, And proceeded to go in myself. None of this would’ve been possible had my mom not pushed me into the world.

I can’t decide what’s better, coddling or being pressured, but right now, I’m doing fine. I know coddling can be good, But I don’t like people using autism as an excuse. Sorry if this just sounds like a big rant.

So my mom and I were on the phone today discussing some stuff regarding my doctors appointments and upcoming surgery, and she mentioned that she and I will be getting our flu and Covid shots on Friday. That was fine with me, But I asked her why my sister and Dad weren’t getting theirs on Friday as well. She told me that my sister didn’t want to get hers, so she wasn’t going to force it on her, even though she really wants her to get it.

This really concerns me. It’s off topic, but I have Misophonia, and people being sick is a really big trigger for me. I hate the sound Of people coughing, sneezing, sniffling, etc. Luckily, for me, I’m away at college, so I often don’t have to hear it from my family. However, My mom often tells me when someone in the family is sick, primarily my sister. For example, A couple weeks ago, My sister had a stomach virus, And my mom texted me, saying, “Just a heads up, The stomach bug is going around. Your poor sister has been puking her guts out and having diarrhea all day, and your dad is sick too.” Shortly before that, She told me that my sister had a bad cold, and was out of school for three days. These text messages made me extremely freaked out. Having autism, Misophonia And emetophobia, the thought of sickness does not sit well with me.

On top of it, 2025 Seems to be a year of death for a lot of people in my life. My grandfather died unexpectedly in March, my great aunt died of cancer last month, my grandma put one of her dogs down unexpectedly, And today, my mom told me that my doctor has just died. I’m so afraid of who could be next, and the thought of any sickness just freaks me out completely right now.

I also feel like my mom has way more control over me than my sister. I wonder why, Because she’s two years younger than me, However, She was in a mental hospital for a while, depression, and suicidal thoughts. When she has moments of gloom and doom, My mom often avoids it and just gives into her demands. For example, We could be close shopping and my mom makes me buy a bunch of stuff I don’t need, And she says she wants to make sure I have clothes, I have buckets of stuff I don’t use. I ask her why she doesn’t get my sister any clothes, Because she only has about five outfits that she wears, and only one pair of pants. She told me that She has given up on taking my sister shopping because it often turns into gloom and doom, but we have never gone without the flu flu shot. She’s been sick twice this year already, So I’m not sure whether or not to be worried, Because usually she has a good immune system (When my whole family got Covid, She was the only one who didn’t, despite not washing her hands and being around us constantly). I don’t know if I should think it’s a good thing that she got sick twice, So then it’s over with when I’m home for the holidays, or if I should worry that it’s gonna happen again.

Has anybody here gone without a flu shot, And if so, Did it make you really sick? Being as nervous as I am, I would prefer it if you just mentioned good or mild experiences. Thanks.