I just hit 6 months and a few days on HRT, and it’s starting to feel less like counting the days and more like something that shows up in my everyday life.
Physically, changes are definitely happening. I have breasts now, and they’re getting harder to hide under clothes. Today, for example, I slung my lunch bag over my shoulder, said goodbye to my entire office, and only realized in the bathroom right before leaving that it made my chest very noticeable. I’m still not out at work except to two friends from my master’s program, so I got a little anxious 😅. I’ve also noticed fat starting to redistribute to other parts of my body, and my face doesn’t look as angular anymore. Some people have told me I look softer, even cuter, and hearing that still makes my heart skip a beat.
The way the world reads me has started to shift too. A few times now, people in stores or on the street have called me “miss,” and then paused like they were reprocessing what they were seeing, lol. In the office bathroom, I’ve noticed men giving me confused looks when I walk in, like “wait, what’s happening?” It’s strange, awkward, and also kind of affirming in a way. A couple of coworkers didn’t recognize my profile pic and thought I was a new hire, a girl.
Emotionally, I’ve changed a lot. I cry way more easily now, over movies, small moments, random thoughts. But I’m also genuinely happier. I feel lighter. My fiancée tells me I look happier, and honestly, I feel it too.
I’ve come out to many more people over these months, and I’ve been incredibly lucky, everyone has taken it really well so far. Funny enough, several of them told me they already suspected something. That support has meant more to me than I can put into words.
My wardrobe has grown a lot, and I finally have real options when I want to dress more feminine. I’m still a bit shy about going out in full fem mode, but one of my New Year’s resolutions is to finally do it, fuck fear.
I also chose two names that I feel deeply happy and comfortable with. So comfortable, actually, that today when I went to get coffee with my boss, I ordered it using one of my chosen names. When they called it out, my boss asked me about it, I panicked and overexplained, hehe.
I’ve also started laser hair removal on my face, and the results so far have been really good, which has helped my confidence more than I expected.
And unrelated to HRT, but still very much part of this chapter of my life, I got engaged. Yay 🥰
In a few days I’ll be celebrating my birthday, and it makes me incredibly happy to know that everyone who’s coming, about 30 people, already knows about my gender identity. Being able to exist fully as myself in that space feels like a gift.
I know I’m still early in my transition, but for the first time in a long time, I truly feel like I’m moving forward.
Thanks! I bought them a couple of months ago and I was getting a bit sad because I’d only worn them like twice.