I feel embarassed. You can call me casual and tell me to git gud, but I need to vent in some way. I considered myself to be pretty good at soulslikes, I've beaten hard ass bosses like Malenia and Isshin and can beat the entirety of dark souls 3 without much trouble. My bloodborne playthrough was also going pretty good. 5 tries on Ludwig, 7 tries on lady Maria, like 10 tries on Laurence. So I was pretty confident when getting to orphan of kos... 3 hours, 3 hours of desperate attempts interrupted by having to farm for heals. So after dying over and over again I just felt fucking dissapointed in myself. Life has been not the best for me lately. I was forced to move to a different country, which led to me losing contact with my friends and my own mother. I feel very insecure and axious about going to a new school here and it doesn't help hearing my relatives tell me that this country has hard ass fucking final exams. Playing bloodborne was a nice little distraction, but orphan of kos actually fucking destroyed me and my self esteem. I actually fucking started crying from desperation and dissapointment. It just felt fucking soul crushing to start thinking that I can't do it. Like I can't beat a boss in a fucking game and you want me to be able to finish high school, in a different country with a different language? I don't know why I told you this story, this is really fucking stupid. But orphan of kos actually made me fucking have a mental breakdown and I never had a game make me feel like that before
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