Tugboater203

joined 2 years ago
sorted by: new top controversial old
In a galaxy called the milky way... in c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
In a galaxy called the milky way... in c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
[โ€“] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

I love that scroll generator, thanks!

81
I joined a dating app for pyromaniacs (lemmy.world)
 

I got a match right away. ๐Ÿ”ฅ

211
I've started investing heavily in to stocks, chicken, beef, vegetable.... (lemmy.world)
 

Some day I hope to be a bouillonaire

102
Whenever I cook with wheat, rye or rice, my wife gets terrible headaches..... (lemmy.world)
 

It turns out she suffers from my grains....

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I told my wife a joke the other day about chocolate, caramel and peanuts and she didn't laugh at all..... (lemmy.world)
 

I thought I would at least get a Snicker

Where do you go to buy donuts, Cherrios, Life Savers and bagels? in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[โ€“] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

They are to 5 year olds.

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Where do you go to buy donuts, Cherrios, Life Savers and bagels? (lemmy.world)
 

Hole Foods!

176
I wasn't a big fan of organ transplants.... (lemmy.world)
 

Then I had a change of heart

116
What is faster than a calculator? (lemmy.world)
 

A calcunow!

I surprised my wife and put a mini trampoline in the bed room... in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[โ€“] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

She's head over heels for me!

81
I surprised my wife and put a mini trampoline in the bed room... (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
3 comments fedilink
 

When she found out she hit the roof....

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What are Vampires bad at art? (lemmy.world)
 

They can only draw blood!

My last Halloween dad jokes this year, coming soon, Thanksgiving jokes!

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Where do mummies go on vacation? (lemmy.world)
 

The Dead Sea!

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What do vegetarian zombies eat? (lemmy.world)
 

Grrraiinnnns!

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Why don't mummies take time for themselves? (lemmy.world)
 

They're afraid to unwind!

What is a witches favorite subject in school? in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[โ€“] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

My daughter thought so too.

What do near sighted ghosts wear? in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[โ€“] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

I'm special and can't get the spoiler markdown to work on mobile

Thursday Night Football [Week 6] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[โ€“] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

It was too late to matter for the game, but that was a bogus PI call in the end zone.

Why did my coffee taste like dirt? in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[โ€“] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

You two knock it off, or you're grounded

Why did my coffee taste like dirt? in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[โ€“] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I've been a dad for a while, so the well is deep.

Monday Night Football [Week 5] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[โ€“] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Pick 6! Woooo

NFL Game Thread [Week 5] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[โ€“] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Well how about that! That was unexpected, and some sloppy football

NFL Game Thread [Week 5] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[โ€“] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They want to be the Lions?

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