[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Believe me when I say every interaction was started with the belief that they were people who could understand me. I liked them. The problems started showing up later on, usually slowly, gradually, and every time they became obvious I ceased the interactions.

I broke it off with my best friend after over a decade because our political and social views started diverging majorly during the past couple of years.

I stopped dating my latest ex a couple of months after the pattern started popping up, once it became clear that she didn't want me as I was. I stuck around those extra months because I had to make sure I wasn't just exaggerating.

Maybe I just have bad luck. Maybe I have a subconscious sense for future disappointment and I gravitate toward it. I don't know. All I know is I don't intentionally pick the people who are wrong for me. Quite the contrary, I am possibly too selective in my interactions precisely because my parents and extended family have burnt me. I've even tried deep-diving into this aspect during therapy, but we concluded that I did not seek out the toxicity intentionally - with two separate therapists, the ones I've mentioned were the exceptions.

8
submitted 11 hours ago by latenightnoir@lemmy.world to c/vent@lemmy.world

I find myself alone now. Most of my family's dead, the ones who're alive are not the kind of people with whom I'd associate, my friends have turned out to be fool's gold, so all I have are my thoughts.

And I've realised that everyone I've ever met, except for two therapists, has tried to change me.

My family did their best to raise me as a soulless tool, existing solely for performance and to bolster my family's public image - I have been their greatest failure.

My friends have tried to shape me into what they wanted me to be, either a heartless dick, a thoughtless prick, or just a door mat. To them, I either feel too much, think too much, or just hold the wrong beliefs.

My exes have never tried to get to know the real me, not a single one. My latest ex started trying to change how I dress and see the world not even three months into dating.

And now I just can't bring myself to trust anyone. Every attempt at being open and vulnerable with people has ended up with them dragging mud all across my soul. I am terrified of people. I am terrified of even trying. And I'm terrified of this deep yearning for connection which has become a constant ache in my chest, because I've been around for thirty fucking years and I'm as alone as I've ever been.

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 116 points 1 day ago

The washing machine with integrated AI broke my brain. This must be the most useless thing I've ever encountered in my entire life.

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Regarding your first observation, monitoring trends and needs isn't really that hard a thing to do. All one needs is patience and a bit of discernment.

As for your second, that credit goes to us. Royalty is royalty only because the serfs treat them as such. I mean, look at him now. He's a global laughing stock, but Republicans still blow hot air up his ass because he has money and resources they can use.

Musk's just a rich kid with a massive ego and insecurities. That's all.

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I sure do! Just last night I woke up from a dream in which my downstairs neighbors were yelling only to discover they were actually yelling.

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Both variants are hearty and hefty, they look like something I'd have eaten in amounts which would've made me hate myself for about two hours afterwards!

It's just that my digestive tract really can't handle this type of food without repercussions anymore :(

Thoroughly hope you've enjoyed both the previous one and this as well! Living my best life through you!:))

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 70 points 2 days ago

Real question is, how can I uninstall Zuckerberg...

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

This is... so not just a class war, though. It's intersectional, everything is linked to everything else, class, racism, sexism, homophobia, everything! And sugarcoating the truth just leads to the same thing, over and over and over again.

No, semantics aren't the issue here, the issue is that nobody's explaining anything anymore. Everyone just expects to have their meaning understood through five words or less, then starts arguing semantics without analysing the context.

It is a privilege to be a white male. And, yes, as long as you're not part of the 1%, you're getting shafted regardless. The two are most certainly not mutually exclusive, the privilege being that white guys get less shaft.

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

Shhh, don't tell'em! This is funny!

3
[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 26 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Social privilege is 100% a thing. You can bet that the fact that a white person doesn't receive subconsciously ingrained doubt and xenophobia from literally everyone else pretty much ensures that a white person will be subconsciously favoured. (edit:) this doesn't mean that they will necessarily receive a cornucopia of riches, but it pretty much guarantees that they'll be first pick for the football team, so to speak.

Same goes for Maleness™ and Cis-ness (?), they are perceived as defaults, as standards. It also applies in the neurotypical-neurodivergent face-off.

In short, as long as there is any kind of "other" and one is not perceived as part of it, one is intrinsically privileged.

(edit 2:) And the only thing which trumps social privilege is money.

9
[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Yyyep... I sure wanted to think the XXIst Century would look different, but humans gonna hume, I guess.

I mean, other than improving education just enough to bring workers up to speed with industry requirements, the Powers That Be haven't really changed things around. Those who own rule, the rest of us are just serfs...

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 55 points 3 days ago

In Ye Olden Days, minor Lords used to pay tribute to anyone who took up the crown/took over the lands, to get on their good side. That's actually where the Romanian word for "tip" (bacșiș) comes from, it's what they called tribute payments to the Ottoman Empire.

Why should this be any different? I mean, it's Trump...

[-] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago

I miss the lockdowns, life was easier back then... Now the big picture just looks like a planet-wide dumpster fire...

5
Cujo - The Method (m.youtube.com)
1
3
(K)NoW_NAME - HUNT (m.youtube.com)
7
6
SCALER - Monolithium (m.youtube.com)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by latenightnoir@lemmy.world to c/music@lemmy.world

Caps is official, don't shoot the messenger pls and thx.

Edit: not the title, though, so corrected!

3
1
0
Recoil - Want (m.youtube.com)
13
view more: next ›

latenightnoir

joined 5 months ago