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The pain 😭 (lemmy.ml)
5

I wanted to talk about academic anxiety. Of course, my anxiety is kinda generalized, but I have a very specific type of anxiety related to academic environments.

Like, I always hated school, all of my 11 years of obligatory education were absolute hell, but things went downhill in college. I started to fail in college after a first year of doing very well, but then I started failing, and spiraling down, and over time the fear of failing made me fail, and then fail even harder. And my mom did it a lot worse.

I won't tell everything my mom did because I don't want to write a bible, but because I was failing I was screamed almost daily, verbally abused almost daily, guilt-tripped, and told that I would never accomplish anything in life. Some days my mom would scream at me for hours with no end.

I stopped telling my mom about my grades, and then went out of her way to get them anyway, because she has a friend who was a professor at the university I was at and he told him my grades (not even a professor of my degree).

I didn't want to continue because I failed second year and couldn't bear the shame of coming back after failing. I had fought with my mom a lot about it, and then, she went and sign me up to redo the year behind my back, so I had no option but to do the year again, and I did even worst, because I couldn't focus on anything, I was only thinking about ending myself in class, and then started skipping classes, and even exams. I skipped the most important exams of the year because I was doing so terribly at them.

At some moment in this year, I suggested my mom to sign me up to an online university, and she exploded at me, we had the biggest ugliest fight we ever had. Of course she don't remember any of it, conveniently.

And I failed again, the university don't allow people who fail the same year twice in a row to sign up again, so I just dropped out and my mom could do nothing about it.

In the upcoming years I tried changing careers and universities, and my mom never liked any of them, because they were "lesser" careers and universities. But always, when the first exam came up, I just froze and failed, and then stopped going to university altogether. It happened at least 3 times. The last one was computer science at an online university, I thought would be easy since I like computers a lot and it was an online university, but it happened again, and I'm frustrated that for the online students they just gives us PDFs and videos while the ones that live in the city the university is located, they can go there and actually talk to professors and have in person studying, so I felt at a disadvantage.

My mom will always say I'm a failure because I didn't finish law school, and I don't think I can go back to an university because of this terrible anxiety. I can't even come into a classroom anymore because I have to deal with the anxiety.

The thing is, I love learning, I learn a lot everyday and I love reading a lot. But being at classroom is just terrible for me and I can't go beyond the easiest first exams.

8

Hello, for some context, my grandpa is in bad health, and is currently at the care of a few aunts. A few weeks ago they had almost let him die, and out of frustration I did a tiktok talking about the situation without sharing names. A few days later, my sister calls me and tells me to please delete it and does wild accusations against our mom. I deleted the video then. However, then turns out my aunts tried to sue me and my mom for the tiktok video.

This is a letter I wrote to my sister, that was the last chance I gave her before going no contact. Turns out she still insists on believing my aunts lies and we went no contact, and I requested to be completely cut from the family tree.

I'm glad I've gone no contact because I don't care about a "family" that never cared about me in the first place, I've always been an outsider. I redacted the personal information and had cut some other parts, but yeah, this is the letter, where it also explains what happened. Warning for too much text.

BTW I can write well in english, but I used a translator for the letter because is too long and I didn't feel like manually translating, sorry if something got translated literaly or sounds weird.

Hello [SISTER]. This is going to be important.

Yes, this is about MOTHER, [BAD WITCH], [GOOD FOR NOTHING] and me, to tell the truth of what happened with the complaint they put on me and the whole situation. I really wanted to do this in a call, but I don't feel like I have the energy for it, there is a lot to tell, and I don't want anything to slip out or be misinterpreted, I also don't want to risk it being interrupted because the power goes out, the signal or something, so text alert a lot.

First of all, I want to say that I have a huge disappointment with you. When you told me about MOTHER being schizophrenic over the phone, I didn't say anything, because I knew something didn't add up, so I looked up the symptoms, I researched, I even asked my psychologist. You know very well that MOTHER does NOT have schizophrenia, it is very difficult for an untreated schizophrenic to hide the most important symptoms, like hallucinations. If she were schizophrenic, I would have known it for years, especially in the conditions as you described, where you say she has psychotic episodes where she threatens to kill children with knives and such.

However, all doubts were cleared up for me when I learned that the source was [EVIL WITCH], you know, who casually tells of hearing voices, who interacts with the voices, even when there are people visiting where she lives, and that aside, coincidentally, the only children my mother has supposedly threatened with knives are hers, but coincidentally none of them have ever mentioned it and there are never any witnesses to corroborate her version of events. Having conspiratorial allusions and paranoia where other people constantly want to hurt you is precisely one of the symptoms of schizophrenia.

I mean, as such I expected [BAD WITCH] to go around telling crazy stories because I remember that once [BAD WITCH] many years ago told me that MADRE wanted to kill [Cousin] because she was in love with [Mister F] (the ex-husband of [BAD WITCH]) even though [Cousin] is not [Mister F]'s son.

But I expected more from you than to believe all the lies of a crazy woman like [BAD WITCH], and on top of that, to go around serving as a megaphone for her even though you know very well that it is a lie, I expected you to be smarter than this, I expected more from a qualified nurse in her 40s. On top of that you know I have an unmedicated schizophrenic uncle on my father's side, so I know what someone with that condition looks like. It's amazing that you thought I was going to believe the lie immediately, like you think I'm an idiot.

I'm disappointed because [BAD WITCH] lies more than she talks, and now I'm going to tell you all the lies she told at the meeting with the prefect where she, [GOOD FOR NOTHING], MOTHER and I were.

The meeting started with them doubting the authority and actively insulting the prefect, because she had not wanted to pass the complaint to the prosecutor's office. They tried to report it again at the [Capital] prefecture, but they were only sent back to [Sector].

The prefect started reading the complaint, it turns out that there is a part where [BAD WITCH] and [GOOD FOR NOTHING] insinuated that I should receive psychological help and that I would have some kind of disability, they did not say it directly but they insinuated it, I said “I do not have any disability and I am 26 years old” to which they said “We did not say that” to which the prefect replied “This is what they wrote” pointing to the part where they insinuated it. This would be the first of many times where they would say one thing and then try to retract or directly contradict themselves.

Then they were given the right to speak so they could say what they wanted to do, which was essentially to present themselves as the victims, [EVIL WITCH] specifically making up years of alleged harassment by MOTHER. Since the point was the alleged defamation because of my tiktok video, they would then ask questions along the lines of “Where do you get that I am a santera?” and “Where do you get that I gave my mom (my grandmother) something to kill her?”.

I listened to them patiently to which [BAD WITCH] and [GOOD FOR NOTHING] started to say “Why don't you say anything? Could it be because you have something to hide?” to which the prefect replied “You are waiting for your right to speak” I mean, they thought I was going to be afraid of a couple of crazy women.

When it was finally my time to speak, I told everything I had to tell, the story of how the famous video was born, specifying that it was only one video on my Tiktok account where I never talk about family issues. That I considered everything I said to be true, and that with my grandfather's neglectful situation, I had recited what MOTHER had told me and then MOTHER told her version of events. Then to answer the questions of these 2 crazy women, I told the prefect that I know perfectly well that [BAD WITCH] is a santera, not only because she has a long history of doing rituals and forcing people in the family to participate in them, as she did in her previous apartment, but also that during my grandmother's funeral, the body was still warm when precisely, [BAD WITCH], suggested doing a ritual, putting grandma on the floor, lowering her from her clinical bed, surrounding her with candles, and praying something weird. I objected to that ritual, but they did it anyway. When the father arrived for the wake that was done right there in grandma's room, it turned out that the father was an exorcist, and without us talking to him, he said “there are witches here” while looking at [BAD WITCH] and [GOOD FOR NOTHING].

I also could not fail to tell him the undeniable fact that there is a mound of earth where they buried the animals they sacrificed in the santero rituals they performed in the house, they dug so deep that part of the construction they have at street level began to sink. Coincidentally they were silent while I was telling this story.

Of course I suspect they had something to do with my grandmother's stroke, at the very least they made her angry. They had the audacity to tell the prefect that MOTHER never took care of grandma, even, that when she died she hadn't seen grandma for a year and only arrived when she had already died, when you know very well, that my mother was taking care of my grandmother, as often as she was there 4 days a week, that she fixed the house, painted, planted, cut trees, put the house in order, and that not only my mother and I went to be with my grandmother as soon as they had the decency to notify her that she was having a stroke, but on top of that, my grandmother died in my mother's arms. I was the one who told this to the prefect to disprove them. Also [GOOD FOR NOTHING] wanted to ask me questions, about “Where do you get that I never did anything at mom's house?” And I told the prefect, that for as long as I can remember, grandma, even though she was disabled, washed, cooked, tidied, tidied, cooked, etc. Even when she complained about everything hurting her, she did everything, while [GOOD FOR NOTHING] was always doing nothing, sitting, watching TV, sleeping, etc. Grandma herself complained that [GOOD FOR NOTHING] was doing nothing. Nobody told me about it, I saw it.

While I was talking, [GOOD FOR NOTHING] said if she could lower “my tone of voice” because “she had a headache” and I told her that's not my problem, I'm talking. Then the 2 locals tried to LEAVE the prefect's office, the prefect stopped them and said “WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” she stopped them and said “Sit down, we are here because you filed this complaint, because you wanted this” and they had to sit down like scolded girls.

I submitted a visiting regime to the prefect, specifying the days of the month where we would go to visit my grandfather. What we asked was that [GOOD FOR NOTHING] and [BAD WITCH] not be there while we were visiting, and that we have accompaniment either by police or prefect staff to go and see him, because otherwise the 2 crazy women could make up anything, say that my mother threw my grandfather down the stairs or something like that, and then the family will believe the 2 crazy women without questioning them and proceed to lynch her internationally, citing again when they said that the grandfather's fracture did not originate in my mother's house, but while he was in their care.

The prefect wanted to negotiate because she felt it was going too far, until [GOOD FOR NOTHING] started saying that MOTHER had stolen things from the house. According to [GOOD FOR NOTHING], my mother had stolen grandma's clothes, a blender, a microwave, etc. Then MOTHER explained that after grandma died ,YOU [SISTER]! sent for the things to give to her. Then [GOOD FOR NOTHING] said that YOU! [SISTER]! could support her to confirm that MOTHER did steal things from the house.

After we told how the story really went, the prefect was fed up with the story and said “If she wants to ‘steal’ things from the house, then let her do it, she is her mom too” there [GOOD FOR NOTHING] started to say that MOTHER also stole personal things from HER, that MOTHER many times tried to enter [GOOD FOR NOTHING]'s room and went through her things. MOTHER asked her what need she had to go through his things and what things she claimed she stole, [GOOD FOR NOTHING] could not mention anything specific and was trying to explain herself, because the lie was not getting through.

Later, it occurred to [GOOD FOR NOTHING] to say that “When I say, she stole, I mean that she [MOTHER] is a hoarder” There you can tell that the prefect was running out of patience, because she replied “No, you specifically used the word STEAL, I am a lawyer, and if you tell me that she stole, I will assume that she stole, and on top of that you explained what MOTHER supposedly stole” She almost “throws the book at them” as the gringos say.

Then the conciliation was reached and we agreed that MOTHER and I would notify the prefecture before visiting the grandfather so that there would be an accompaniment, but that those 2 crazy women could not deny us a visit. Also among the agreements was that no one would speak ill of relatives in public places until the 3rd degree of familiarity. The prefect wanted to take the route of “you are family” to which I said “Have you heard the phrase ‘Blood is thicker than water’? The phrase is incomplete, it's actually The blood of the horde is thicker than the water of the womb, and that's the philosophy I go by because my family has never treated me like family.”

The “family” I have is one that thinks that and I don't breathe if my mother doesn't tell me to, the fact that I'm the one who made the video but they also dragged my mother into the complaint is proof of that. They think I have severe cognitive abilities, they still talk to me like a child and they will never stop. Here I include you, the fact that they thought I would be such an idiot to believe at the first time that my mother is schizophrenic is proof of that, but you also talk to me as if I were 10 years old, as if I didn't have a job in an important company, as if I didn't pay taxes, as if I wasn't in the process of registering my company, as if I didn't have a lot of people who hold me in good esteem.

[BAD WITCH] Is lying so much, that I'm sure, in complete lack of doubt or hesitation, to absolute certainty, that she's faking her Parkinson's or whatever the shaking is, because she could go a long time without shaking, and she would start shaking her hands when the prefect would address her exactly. She's not even faking it right, it's not even a cold shiver because it was really hot that day and we were getting cooked, a super re contra fake shiver. She's faking it so much, that she, when we had all signed the final agreement and she went to sign it, SHE SIGNED WITH HER RIGHT HAND! You know she is LEFT HANDED! I called her out when I saw her, and I said “Hey, aren't you left-handed? Why do you write with your right hand?” and do you know what they answered me? “What do you care?” that's what they answered me, and on top of that they answered me angrily.

As my mother and I have nothing to hide, I offered to send a psychological report to my mother, to refute the defamation that [BAD WITCH] makes about her being schizophrenic, and I still maintain it, I send that report, to demonstrate to those who believe [BAD WITCH], you the first one, that it is completely false.

This is not all that happened, but this is already getting longer and this was the most remarkable and important thing that happened in the prefecture.

Now to get back on topic with you, as I said, I expected you to be smarter than blindly believing [BAD WITCH], but my anger with you is something that is building up, not only because you still treat me as if I were a child as I said, but because you have effectively been turning into the Venezuelan equivalent of a “whitexican” and specifically because you have this attitude of pretending you are better than us to the point of not believing when we say we are doing well. Yes, Venezuela in general is fucked up, but it has been getting better and we particularly are doing well. It's as if you take it as a personal offense when the answer to How are you? is something other than utter and complete misery. You'd rather believe some bodegas with instagram who are clearly ripping you off than us, even the dentist you paid my mom has ripped you off, because they put in teeth for my mom that didn't cost the hundreds and hundreds of dollars you paid them for at all, and they ended up falling out recently. But no, they are the businesses that the other venecos-miameros recommend and therefore they can't go wrong with anything.

I can't trust you if you have such poor judgment, and of refusing to see other people's realities if they are further than your nose, but you do believe [BAD WITCH] so much at the first time. If you care so much about [BAD WITCH], then let's see if she adopts you. Maybe at this point you think I have my mother supervising what I'm writing, instead of writing it with my own hands, under my own free will, in my boyfriend's house, without MOTHER knowing anything at all. Overall, it's completely up to you if we have a relationship in the future, but I don't shake my pulse when it comes to cutting off relationships no matter who it is, and I don't lose anything, because this “family” has never been family with me, I can't pretend to care about people who have never cared about me at all, and after my grandfather is dead and buried, they cut me completely from the family tree, never even think about me again, and pretend I don't exist, moreover, they may say I'm dead.

That is all. Now it is up to you, and if you wish, that this be a final goodbye and that we never speak again. I wish you a good life with success and that your current and potentially future children, and possible future grandchildren have a wonderful life. Good night to you.

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Hi. First of all. Im a newbie. I still gotta learn a lot. But I wanted to have a gifting ritual to Kvasir. I make Mead so I though I could offer him Mead so I could make better Mead and get wisdom from it.

I wrote this poem. I got some help from someone who does poetry because English is my second language, so they helped me making it more poetic.

I prepared all of my Mead making equipment, I had some space dedicated to the ritual. Lighten a candle and started reading the poem. Also wrote Kvasir name in futhark in a piece of paper.

Then I poured some of my Mead in the bowl and left it there as an offering.

Then I started to make my Mead, while I listened to some pagan and Norse related music. Skald, Wardrune, heilung, Brothers of Metal (for The Mead Song). Also Metfest was in the play list and Man with a Plan from Korpiklani.

Then when my Mead was ready I had put the lid on with the airlock and waited till I saw the bubbling. Didnt had to wait much.

I put away my equipment, washed it and saved it, then after listening a few more songs I thanked Kvasir, asked him for permision, and drank the Mead from the bowl and turn the candle off.

Im writing this right before going to sleep because is already late at night.

Im not saying this is the best ritual, is what I could think of and had some opinions and help.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

The poem is public domain BTW.

This is the full poem:

O Kvasir, from the mead of lore, Grant us skill and wisdom more. Bestow upon both hand and heart, That we may brew with finest art.

In mead's sweet nectar, knowledge flows, A boon from thee, as legend shows. Thy counsel sought, so pure, so bright, To guide us through the darkest night.

With hearts sincere, I offer mead, A simple gift for every need. Come join our feast, partake and share, In this glad day, with joy and care.

Thank thee, Kvasir, for thy grace, Thy wisdom bright in every place. Raise we our cups in honor true, To thee, our friend, in all we do.

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Hello. I'm not really pagan, I've been atheist all my life in a 70% catholic country where the most common way of paganism is Yoruba and Christian witchcraft, from which I've kept my distance because they sacrifice animals to their saints, sometimes stealing house pets to sacrifice them. However, I love the Norse myths and as I started to learn more and more about it I got very interested in Mead, now I'm making my own Mead and I love that. IDK if Norse Paganism might be compatible with my form of atheism (don't believe in anything super natural, but willing to follow certain deities in a symbolic way, for example, I am a satanist atheist), I know very little about it, but because of the Mead I'm interested in learning more about the rituals associated to Mead, if there was any. I think learning and doing a proper ritual might link more closely my Mead making with it's cultural significance (yes I know Mead is not exclusively Norse, far from that, but still is what got me into it). I've read that sometimes Mead can be offered in altars. But I wonder if the old Norse had any ritual specific to it, or maybe something to thank the gods for the Mead, and what gods might be the main ones to offer it, Odin? Kvasir? Ægir? Freya?

Sorry if I'm way over the line, again, I'm willing to learn and follow advice. If you have some ritual instructions could you help too?

Thanks in advance.

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To be clear, I don't really think my mom is, but this was revealed to me by my sister yesterday.

So, I was having an argument with my sister, there is a family situation and my sister said I was repeating out mom's version. During the argument, she said that our mom was diagnosed schizophrenic as a child, and that she was even locked up (?).

For context. I'm 25. My sister is in her 40s.

Our mom had my sister when she was 17. Our mom is the middle child of a total of 5 sisters. She was born in 1964. She had my sister to a man that I know absolutely nothing about, since she never talked about it. According to my sister, she also never knew who her father was till she was a teenager, when our mom finally agreed to let her meet him once.

When our mom was 20 she meet my dad, who was in his 40s. After that, my sister was raised by our grandparents and my mom pretty much forgot about her. I was born in 1998. All my life I was told that they were married but insisted on not having children until my dad's son died in 1996. But turns out that in reality, they got married a few months after I was born. I know this only because I saw they marriage certificate during the divorce lawsuit.

My sister and I never lived together, since when I was learning to walk, she was starting university in the capital of our country, years later we used to visit her once or twice a year until my sister moved to the US with my nephew and niece.

When I was 8 to 10, my parents had a terrible separation. My dad cheated on my mom and she went crazy and my dad went extremely abusive and violent. I witnessed some of that with my own eyes.

Then, they hated each other so much that couldn't even agree on divorce terms. It took them 15 YEARS to officially divorce (that's when I saw the marriage certificate, because the lawsuit was delivered to be, because they couldn't contact my mom).

Now, to get on topic. My mom is very obviously a narcisistic, since she has the entire criteria. She also made my life hell multiple times.

One of the things she does is having her own version of what is happening, and run with that version, no matter how different it is from reality. Like the many times I rebeled in my early 20s, was because I was doing drugs, got into a cult, got brainwashed, and was having gay sex, according to her. No, I was just having my university partying phase. The only thing she was right about it was me having gay sex, but not the way she was thinking and not with the people she was thinking, I was still closeted. And her concern wasn't me having gay sex, was more like "hanging out with those f***ts who are maybe fucking your ass". She always makes wild assumptions about people, mostly when she don't like them.

During university I was severely depressed and thinking about dropping out, but I found an online university that had my career and I could continue there. I told my mom about it and she went BALLISTIC, assaulting me physically even, and I hit her back, then she restrained me, because she didn't want me to study in an university for "bums and lowlives" according to her. This fight was so bad that I was thinking about killing myself that week, but I didn't. However, years after I dropped out, she asked "Why didn't you find a way to study online" then I remind her of this incident, but she says "that never happened, what are you talking about?".

She also wanted me to graduate from law school to "become her lawyer in her divorce" agaisn't my dad.

She also used to trashtalk my dad A LOT when I was a kid, almost daily. I was constantly told that if I didn't succeed, I would be a bum like my dad (my dad is a successful lawyer).

She has a hard time maintaining friendships, because everybody is "stupid, inefficient, irresponsible" according to her so she gets tired of everyone. I am also irresponsible and inefficient according to her. I'm also super smart or slow according to who she is talking to, if is literally everyone else, I'm super smart and a gifted kid, if she is mad at me, I'm stupid and slow.

I got an autistic diagnostic as an adult, when I asked people on my family, they told me that they knew and told my mom to try get me in a special environment, but she refused to do that and told everyone to not dare talk about my autism.

When I told her about my diagnostic, she said "but you knew your whole life you were asperger" and I was like "NO I DIDN'T, KNOWING SOONER WOULD HAVE HELPED A LOT" She still insists that I knew my whole life.

I suffered many other forms of abuse and I'm still receiving them because I still live with her. But this has been too long already.

I don't think she might be schizophrenic. The ironic thing is that when I had what I now know are "autistic meltdown" she said I was having a schizophrenic psychosis and I should see a therapist (funny because she is very much anti therapy). I have a paternal uncle who IS schizophrenic and has dealt with it his entire life. He is a very hard case.

But yeah, the important thing here is that I don't think she ever had hallucinations, not that I know off, like seeing things, or hearing voices that aren't the usual "were you calling me name?" when I wasn't. Maybe you can give me a but more of perspective. IDK if what my sister said is true, but I hope I can get some perspective. if it is, she might have been diagnosed in the 70s or 80s and mental health wasn't good at all at the time (my country was still doing electroshock until a few years ago).

Sorry for the long text.

TLDR: My sister said my mom is a diagnosed schizophrenic, but I don't think my mom has the signs of being one, tho I'm telling some of my history of abuse from her to know if there is something to analyze from there.

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The series has some perfect black tones and I wonder if it would work on AMOLED screens.

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submitted 5 months ago by vis4valentine@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

Companies had copystriked all the arts and knowledge to hoard it into their now dead servers to get profit from subscription services only, so the only peak at humanity now are blogs, memes, and random posts.

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submitted 5 months ago by vis4valentine@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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3

Hello, I've been preparing for years to write a dark phantasy world, and I planned my entire lore, from the begining of everything to the end of everything. Maybe this is too much, but I have the ages figured out, the rise and fall of empires, and entire sagas dedicated to war conflicts. However, Now I'm wondering where should I begin. Started with the story of a bunch of protagonist but now they seem as a small part of this world and I think some things wouldn't feel as important without having the full context of the damage the army they are a part of has done to the world, seeing it from other perspectives in other time periods.

I wonder if I should start in chronologycal order or continue on the order I originally planned and then realize the prequels.

For example, would be like starting the Star Wars Universe by Dawn of the Jedi, continuing through Nights of the Old Republic, and then reach the original story, that would be when Luke appears.

Where should I start?

7

Hi. Im a trans writer doing my lore for writing dark phantasy. I am inspired by many dark phantasy like Berserk and A Song of Ice and Fire, but mostly from real world history and in many parts of the world is very horrible to live as a women. How ever SA is part of some characters background but I I dont feel good actually writing it. Can I just skip it and be vague about it or there are workarounds? I dont wanna trigger survivors or make people drop it because if it.

Is not like im mentioning it all the time, my work is more like a collection of stories in the same universe that take place in different time periods and some dont have it at all, but it will be important in some.

Thank you in advance.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 91 points 1 year ago

Illustrations thinkers: CHURCH AND STATE SHOULD BE SEPARATED! French revolutionaries: CHURCH AND STATE SHOULD BE SEPARATED! US founding fathers: CHURCH AND STATE SHOULD BE SEPARATED!

Republicans for some reason: Yeah, I'm pretty sure our founding fathers wanted a theocratic dictatorship **source: trust me bro**

How can they get away with being so historically wrong and doing such a revisionism?

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 75 points 1 year ago

Classic fascist narrative: The enemy is both strong and dangerous, and weak and dumb.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 99 points 1 year ago

MacOS software updates are free. The issue is that suddenly Apple decides your perfectly functioning computer is no longer supported, and after that in a matter of 2 years you will no longer find any new software for your OS, and then you have 3 options:

  • Buy a new computer.
  • Hackintosh it with a dosdude patch to use the latest version of MacOS.
  • Just install GNU/LINUX.
[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 62 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Cis allies usually put pronouns in their bios to show support and normalize the act itself of specifying then online. IRL since you are cis and I asume you look masculine there is no need to specify your pronouns.

Just whenever you meet someone and they tell you to talk to them in a specific way, just do it and respect their pronouns. Its easy. Most people dont care if you get it wrong the first times as long as you acknowledge your mistake and correct yourself, your brain will get used to it and you will not make the mistake later. That's the different between someone who is learning and an idiot purposefully misgendering someone.

BTW if you arent sure about someone elses pronouns, just ask them. Easy.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 81 points 1 year ago

Well, it is not as much as a "non profit fighting human trafficking" as they sell it. It is a tech org that sells facial recognition technology to law enforcement, that doesn't really help saving kids, but rather persecute consensual and voluntary sex workers.

It is what happens when tech Bros want to try and save the world without really listening to the vulnerable people they are trying to "help".

Now his hypocrisy was exposed for defending a convicted rapist because "he was nice to me" no shit Ashton, im sure Epstein was also nice to his friends.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 100 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
  • A YouTube channel named "Gamers Nexus" made a video criticisms about LTT hardware Review process.
  • Due to having the pressure to make videos as quickly as possible, the quality control of hardware reviews has suffered, even with the Lab they assembled for testing hardware and presenting detailed benchmarks.
  • A startup sent Linux a watercooling prototype to review, but they tried it on a video card it was not designed for, giving bad results.
  • Then the "sold" the prototype apparently without the full approval of the creators.
  • Linus was dismissive at first, but now the company has responded and said will take quality control more seriously.
  • Now an ex employee named Madison came out telling basically that there is a Guy Bros type culture on LTT, where they made inappropriate comments to her, affecting her mental health, overloading her with work because she had the "funny job" of social media managment, and even verbally abused her. Some instances can be considered sexual harassment.
  • The new CEO of LTT said he was "shocked" by these revelations and will hire an external investigator.
[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 84 points 1 year ago

I dont work at weddings, but is a given that the more expensive the wedding is, the shorter the marriage might be.

A big huge expensive wedding is a outbox stress, a vanity display and usually the bride is one of those who want the dream perfect wedding they wanted since she was a child.

Then comes the hyper fixation with aesthetics, that might translate into controlling and micro managing everyone on the wedding party and pushing people away for not matching it.

In the end, nothing about the wedding is about the love, being together, etc. It is just a huge waste of money just for some perfectly curated pictures. The marriage itself is no longer relevant and the couple might not last more than 2 years. Just keep it simple people, or even better, just elope.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 147 points 1 year ago

"Love thy neighbor, unless they're gay, black, immigrant or they think different from you, then harass then and make false allegations and boycott every woke media" - somewhere in the Bible.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 84 points 1 year ago

Classic self report.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 121 points 1 year ago

What is the Valve Store?

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 273 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This happens when transphobes forgets that trans men exists lol.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 77 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

People use to say that you cant lie with statistics, but is a common practice to use statistics to lie.

We can take the infamous 41% suicide rate for trans people. Transphobes throw that out like a killing move implying that trans people are inherently unhappy and being trans is a mental illness (which is not true).

The reality is that the suicide rate is so high because of transphobia, kids getting thrown out of home, homelessness, unable to find a job, staying at the closet to avoid social consecuences, etc.

Trans people who live in more open and accepting environments are way less likely to be depressed and commit suicide. In progresive areas where trans people are more accepted the suicide rate is nowhere near 41%.

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vis4valentine

joined 4 years ago