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They couldn't loop around really. And you can only trim the very end of a cat's nail without injuring it. If it's purely a indoor cat just give it a few ways to scratch their nails and everything is fine without ever needing to trim the nails.
Weird how that's never been the case for many of my family in the 40 years I've known us to keep cats.
My sister runs a vet hospital. Last time I checked the prevailing wisdom was "yeah of course you'll have to trim them because there's nothing inside that'll provide the same wearing action and keep them short otherwise" but I can ask again if need be.
Where'd you hear such crazy ideas?
That's not a crazy idea. Go ask your sis. Catss unlike dogs, have blood vessels and nerves in their nails so you can only safely trim them a few mm. A scratching post or something similar gets the job done in a safe way without trimming.
Apart from what other have said, you are also wrong about dogs. Dogs nails also have quick and need the same care as cats nails.