That laptop is no longer a laptop, it is a bomb.
Transcript
A photo of an extremely swollen HP laptop. The panels are kept on with clips. The caption says: "User calls about disc being stuck in another computer, mentions off hand about this laptop. They'd been using it like this for weeks...
It’s not a bomb. Batteries expand when the electrolyte degrades. Once the swelling stops, it’s homeostatic. Totally discharge the battery, open it up, carefully remove or replace the battery. You can most likely use the computer plugged in with the battery removed if you don’t want to buy a new one.
Discharging the battery is the most important step in that process. A discharged battery is very unlikely to combust.
I think the most important step is PPE honestly -- especially when the floor chances for maim or injury is "unlikely".
Here is a guide.
The chance of a discharged battery hurting anyone is 0%. No juice, no fire. I'm in IT and have thrown a few in the fire and shot several. Worst I've seen is one get very hot and burn around the bullet hole, and those had some juice left in them.
I dunno, i once discharged a battery and then threw it at my brother. He seemed pretty hurt.
When he said you were D-ranged he just meant what size battery and how far you could throw it.