We're currently short on rent because of her. I've got to somehow magick up $200 to cover rent until she can pay me (and the few people I've had to borrow money from) back on the 7th. I had to ask the landlord in the past and he was okay with it but increasingly less so, understandably. My name is on the lease and I'm the one responsible for this. She hasn't had a job for a while and I've been pestering her to fill out forms for income support or even apply but she was dragging her feet. Now combine that with the fact that I'm the only one who cleans in the house. For a year I've been asking her to clean dishes and she won't unless zero other options are presented. I've been asking her to turn the lights/fan off in the bathroom when she leaves and she doesn't. I've been asking her to take out garbage that's by the door when it's ready to go out and she doesn't. I've been asking her to contribute at all to the state of the house and she doesn't. I love her and I know she cares about me because there's a ton of other stuff that proves she does but I can't say that I'm not feeling INCREDIBLY used here. I don't know how to go about talking with her about this. When I have in the past she says to use post it notes because she's forgetful so I started and it works a couple of times and then that's it. I don't even know how the fuck i'm going to feed the cat this weekend. I've got enough to last a couple of days and fairly sure i've got wet food she's picky on but will eat for a couple more. She's in on a discord call with someone and I hear laughing occasionally. And like I'm not faulting her for being happy or shedding stress or anything. I've been posting memes today and making comments. But it just... I don't know.

I don't feel okay and I'm scared. Both of potentially being homeless, of losing a friend, of conflict, of everything.

Sorry for the randomness.

Back to your regularly scheduled clownery.

Edit: I got it sorted, rent wise anyway, thanks to the help and generosity of people I do not deserve to have the help of. Thank you so much and I'm sorry for whining...

Edit 2: the Internet just got cut off. She hasn't been paying her half on time or in full and I've been stretching it. I'm just laughing. Laughing and laughing and laughing while I genuinely debate whether it's even worth staying alive.