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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Hatchet@kbin.social to c/AskKbin@kbin.social

I was born and raised in America, and for some reason I have this classic notion in my head that people should be dancing at weddings.

However, now that many of my friends from earlier in life and college are getting married, when I go to those weddings, the dance, if they even have one, is on a tiny dance floor, maybe even just a small part of their reception hall that they scooted the chairs and tables out away from.

And it turns out, many people simply don't know how to dance. Sure, not everyone is a competitive ballroom dancer, but even my non-dancer friends in college would still go to swing dancing night and mess around on the dance floor.

Now, however, people just stand on the dance floor and sway or shuffle. I am loth to even call it dancing. It just seems like people are uncomfortable and not really having fun.

What happened? Did people stop dancing?


PS: Please check out the dance community for more dance related content. I just created it and would greatly appreciate some help with getting it off the ground!


Edit: "am loathe" -> "am loth". STT is a b.

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[-] Bendersmember@kbin.social 18 points 1 year ago

I don't think that your experience is the standard norm. I've never heard of swing dancing in my city, let alone friends that are all off swing dancing at night. Not sure if you're in a much older demographic but the younger generations are not into that sort of stuff? I think COVID may have also affected a lot of group socializing growth in general too.
But if I had to guess it would be one of two things, one: people just aren't really into it, socially or culturally. Two: you may have meant well but it comes across very negative, and I'd assume many people don't dance because of people like you and your opinions and judgements in regards to gatekeeping what is dancing and what isn't. If I went out on a dancefloor and looked over and saw disapproval and judgement from your eyes I'd feel pretty uncomfortable and remove myself from that situation.

[-] Hatchet@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

I just graduated college, so I'm in my very early twenties.

When I went to the first of my friends' weddings, one or two years ago, they announced the start of the dance, and no-one participated for the first two or three songs. I was kind of disappointed, because I was looking forward to dancing the night away. Luckily, some of my friends from swing dancing night were there and we helped get people comfortable on the floor. At one point we even organized a line dance! But at first, it was like pulling teeth.

The next wedding I went to didn't have a dance at all.

I guess I'm just sad at the perceived loss of culture I never got to experience, which is a negative emotion, correct.

[-] theinspectorst@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

I'm late 30s, and formal dancing like this isn't something I'm into or have any close friends who are into - so this isn't something that's just happened suddenly with your generation. I don't think my parents know how to dance in any formal way either. This isn't some sudden loss of culture.

Most of the Western weddings I've gone to have a 'first dance' (where often the couple may have taken some lessons beforehand and which will therefore be more formal) but then after that the band or DJ will play pop/rock/hip-hop/disco music and everyone else will dance along to that. But that's dancing in the sense of how the vast majority of people (who have never taken lessons) know how to dance - i.e. the informal way we all learnt to dance at school discos or student parties or nightclubs - not the more structured dancing styles you're describing.

It sounds like you're quite into dancing as a hobby, given you mention having friends from swing dancing nights - but most people aren't, it's a bit of a niche. So you're disappointed that your hobby isn't more mainstream, but I wouldn't go blaming that on your fellow wedding guests. I'm quite into Star Trek, but when I go to weddings I don't grumble that the bride didn't walk down the aisle to the TNG theme.

My advice would be to accept that your hobby isn't something that most people are in to and not to judge other people for that. Instead seek out clubs and societies for people who do share you interest, where you can ballroom dance the night away together.

[-] DrYes@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

People just don't do Beatzoid weddings anymore :(

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