Matrix.
Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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- selfh.st Newsletter and index of selfhosted software and apps
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If you're self hosting, it's Revolt. But the default instance limits you to 20mb or something for files, which is a problem for me, personally.
Revolt is also an annoyance to self host and the apps don’t support self hosted instances without you rebuilding them because the server is hardcoded.
Why even give the option then lmao
That’s just it, it isn’t an option
Element/matrix all the way
if you want something that looks like discord there are themes for the clients, there's even commet.chat for a discord like experience (but they haven't added calls yet)
Why use Element for matrix?
From what I can tell it collets and links data to you: Location, identifiers and contact information.
How is that private or better than Signal?
I use Signal for private and personal messages. I use Discord solely for gaming and voicechat. A good alternative doesn't need to be overly private (although that would be a bonus of course). It just needs to have a good UI and feature parity with Discord.