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I am my gfs first partner, she is my second. The girl I dated prior (for 6 months) was a vlogger and for like 3 months made a lotta relationship and prank videos wth me which I was fine with at the time. Now my current gf is my first ever real crush and Ive been into her for a decade.

So my gf stalked my ex somehow, idk how consodering Im not on social media myself (this account is the literal exception). She then asked a LOT of questions about my ex, I dodged just about every question. After that she just pulled away and was distant and would barely talk to me or meet up. She finally told me she found my ex's yt channel and watched every single thing on there.

Now I think Ive been VERY understanding and comforting to her, reassuring her literally every day since, being very loving and romantic to the point of cringing myself out. But she never really got over what she saw, idk if she rewatched that stuff or not but it was def smth thats always been in the back of her mind. She also knows that I broke up with my ex since I was moving countries and not bc the relationship was bad.

Now for the terrible part, smth i truly did not remember was that me and my ex had made a more personal video which was still saved somewhere on my laptop. I absolutely did not know of this and if I did I woulda gotten rid of it. Now my gf has access to my laptop (with my approval ofc) and she somehow stumbled upon it, I caught her curled up in my bed absolutely bawling her eyes out with the video playing on my desk. I have never felt this disgusting.

This is the first time my gf has denied my hug for comfort or just been so repulsed by me, she wont touch me while i explained everything, I deleted said video infront of her and begged her for a week. First she told me she needed to think things over but knowing her she wanted me chasing and I did just that, second week Ive given her space and theres been no change. We have had 2 dry 5 min convos in the last week.

How do I fix this or make it upto her???

Tl;dr: Gf found an old personal video involving an ex and wont talk to me anymore.

(page 2) 42 comments
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[-] ElleChaise@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago

Tell her you feel like a jerk, you can only imagine how this whole thing has affected her emotionally, and that you think it would be a terrible way to walk away from an otherwise great relationship. Tell her whatever she decides, you'll let her lead the way, and mean it, because if she doesn't return your messages, or says no, they both mean "goodbye".

[-] Blamemeta@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

Shes hurt, and for the moment she just needs a little time to sort things out.

Give her some space for a few days.

[-] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 11 months ago

Its been 2 weeks of very little contact and I'm a bit worried that she isnt even ready to talk yet.

[-] Blamemeta@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago

Thats a little long. I don't know you, her, or your relationship, but I would try talking to her. Try to figure out where to go, because it sounds like the relationship is damaged, but can still be repaired.

[-] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 11 months ago

Thanks, It's felt a bit hopeless the last couple of days. I'd do whatever it takes to fix this.

[-] wokehobbit@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

I'm sorry dude, but you're lying about knowing that video is there. I was pretty naughty before my wife and as soon as we got together I scrubbed everything that would be remotely inappropriate in a relationship. Most would do the same. So, I can't help but think you're lying and kept it for your secret spank bank. Which is gross.

[-] pjhenry1216@kbin.social 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Would something like that be on YouTube?

Edit: nevermind. Saw the comment about the other video. That's messed up. Shows there's still a connection to her. Plus hiding the relationship by avoiding and dodging questions was a mistake.

[-] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 months ago

What? It wasn't on YouTube, she found it on his personal laptop.

[-] pjhenry1216@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago

My bad. Didn't realize there was a more button. So it cut off at the watching ex's yt video. Definitely explains what everyone else is talking about.

[-] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 11 months ago
  1. I have no reason to lie here where i'm anonymous.
  2. My laptop is shite and I barely use it so it's not like it comes up.
  3. I always hated that video anyways. Terribly shot.
[-] 1984@lemmy.today -1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Sounds like you are trying to act a certain way in front of your girlfriend so she will feel better. But you dont truly understand her feelings about this. The fact that you think dodging questions is a win for you... It's extreamly immature and I feel sorry for your girlfriend.

You are still at the stage where you think being a man is acting cool. You have a lot of growing up to do.

Maybe I'm a bit harch. Sorry. I just wish people wouldn't hurt eachother so much at your age. You all have no idea what you are doing.

[-] CapnAssHolo@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago
[-] 1984@lemmy.today 0 points 11 months ago

I expected an "Ok Boomer" to be honest :)

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this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2023
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