cross-posted from: https://fedia.io/m/nottheonion@lemmy.world/t/1576101

A Republican Congresswoman who has been “missing” for the past six months has finally been found.

Rep. Kay Granger has served as the representative for Texas’s 12th Congressional District since 1997.

However, she suddenly disappeared from the public eye around July this year, when she cast her final vote against an amendment to reduce the salary of Deputy Assistant Administrator for Pesticide Programs to $1.

A curious reporter at the local Dallas Express newspaper did some digging on Granger’s whereabouts and has finally been able to give her constituents some answers.
[...]

We then received a tip from a Granger constituent who shared that the Congresswoman has been residing at a local memory care and assisted living home for some time after having been found wandering lost and confused in her former Cultural District/West 7th neighborhood.

The Dallas Express team visited the facility to confirm whether Granger was residing there and to inquire about how she planned to vote on the spending bill. Upon arrival, two employees confirmed that Granger is indeed living at the facility.

Such a superb owl.

cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/16418679

According to police, Charles Smith, 27, entered the Walmart at 1955 S. Stapley Dr. on Dec. 19 intending to film pranks for social media platforms.

Instead, police said Smith grabbed a can of Hot Shot Ultra Bed Bug and Flea Killer from a shelf without paying for it and then sprayed the pesticide on various vegetables, fruit and rotisserie chickens that were available for purchase.

Smith recorded his face, the pesticide can and the act of him spraying its contents. He later posted the recording online.

Mario and Jeffery Epstein jailed in the multiverse

~~Archive link, for those who prefer it: https://archive.is/20241219051538/https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/18/world/europe/google-maps-spain-arrests.html~~

Edited the main link to a different version of the story with a better headline

Leave funny to the pros, people.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, something something choke on a pretzel or something.

Lisa needs braces.

Sheriff immediately locks the man up on obstruction charge. Welcome home!

Nothing eases job-related stress more than not having a job....

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/22922203

For three years, the Broward County Sheriff’s Office produced its own crack cocaine, so it could sell it to people that deputies would then arrest for buying crack cocaine.

Live Fast and Profit

Punched a deputy too for the win.