I've spent a lot of time recently thinking about how much I don't want to be alive while the whole world falls apart around me. I've been trying to get an appointment set up with a psychologist who can maybe diagnose me and get me medicated, but every single one I've called has said they're either booked up or not prescibing meds at this time. If I lose my job, I will be waiting until the money runs out to kill myself.