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Neverminding the evidence to the contrary.
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They probably would, and hyperpalatized processed foods and our toxic food environment are a problem that effect both plant-based foods and animal nonfoods.
But it takes a lot of effort to break plants into smaller constituents and rebuild them into something bad for our bodies. Animal products do that by default, and there's no getting rid of that.
(and of course that's in addition to all the other myriad reasons why it's best to not eat animals).