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this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2024
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Asklemmy
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Dude, consider getting therapy. You need to learn to love yourself first
Ok no. I'm fucking tired of hearing that one. That's so bullshit. My father never loved himself and yet managed to get my mom and impregnate her twice, plus a 11 years marriage
No, learning to love yourself first is not a prerequisite for finding love or happiness. But it sure makes it a hell of a lot easier to know what's best for you.
Do consider therapy if you have a way of procuring it, I know it's expensive, or the next best thing in my opinion is to go and grab a notebook from the dollar store and just start writing your thoughts down. It's going back and reading those thoughts that really helps with self actualization and reflection, imo.
I wish you luck, OP, you deserve happiness and I believe you can find it, but you have to be patient with yourself and other people. Becoming vulnerable to others, although risky, really helps expedite the process.
Amputee's have climbed Everest, doesn't mean its the easiest way to
This is your primary issue right here. You value yourself so little that the only value in life you see is in being in a relationship. Or to put it another way, you only see value in yourself when you think others value you. Which means, as others have alluded to and very much not coincidentally, that you will not be successful in a relationship. If you can't accept and love yourself for who you are, others will inevitably have a hard time doing so as well.
Given your responses thus far you won't take this well because you are convinced you know better. And that is your secondary issue.
To answer your question: It's over-rated and not all it's cracked up to be. It has benefits but so does being single.
But if you want to experience, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Grow up and learn to value you for who you are or nobody else will.
I don't shut you don't only because you finally answered the question. I still call bullshit on your first paragraph.
I will never love myself, does that means I earned my loneliness? Don't you realize how fucked up that sounds?
It means you deserve loneliness. Because you didn't take responsibility for doing the one MOST BASIC thing, which is to love yourself and believe in yourself. It doesn't have to be perfect or 100% (in fact better not!) but you do have to be able to see the good in yourself such that you can have confidence others will see it too.
Instead you blame others for it and feel sorry for yourself. You don't even seem to realize that it's this fact and your lack of responsibility toward yourself that is the reason others may find it hard to love you.
You and only you are responsible for that. Fix that and you fill not be lonely. Nobody wants to be around someone like that.
No. I won't change shit.
I know. Because you are so insecure that you need to be lonely and unloved. You need to be the victim.
Victim by ass.