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this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy
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It sounds like it was convenient for him at the time and he wasn't serious. Because it sounds pretty intense for a month long relationship, I'm also assuming he love-bombed you. All of that Is devastating.
I went through a very rough breakup about 5 years ago now. We were together 6, and I wasn't really okay until about 3 years after.
Everyone is different, but you'll get better, it will just take some time. Try to remember and tell yourself often that you weren't unworthy or anything, the guy just sounds emotionally immature and selfish. It felt like he was right for you at the time, but you seriously don't want to be with someone who's so careless with your feelings anyway.
I feel so silly because a friend of mine showed concern early on, saying it's easy for guys who are avoidant/emotionally unavailable to love-bomb you at the beginning and mean it, but then they get freaked out and run. I was like "yeah yeah sure" thinking it'd either not happen, or that I'd be able to handle it when it did. Clearly, I could not handle it haha.
There's a reason love-boming works, and we're all susceptible to it, so try not to beat yourself up for falling for him. We all want to be open to being loved, and people who love bomb tend to feel good when they're doing it. They're just able to detach easily, leaving you feeling confused and hurt after.
I hope you do some things to show yourself love over the next few days. You deserve it.