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I Am Not Always Very Attached To Being Alive: Living With Passive Suicidal Ideation (theoutline.com)
submitted 3 months ago by Two9A@lemmy.world to c/longreads@sh.itjust.works
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At 27, I’ve settled into a comfortable coexistence with my suicidality. We’ve made peace, or at least a temporary accord negotiated by therapy and medication. It’s still hard sometimes, but not as hard as you might think. What makes it harder is being unable to talk about it freely: the weightiness of the confession, the impossibility of explaining that it both is and isn’t as serious as it sounds. I don’t always want to be alive. Yes, I mean it. No, you shouldn’t be afraid for me. No, I’m not in danger of killing myself right now. Yes, I really mean it.

How do you explain that?

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[-] Eylrid@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

Boy howdy do I relate to this. That feeling of just treading water, feeling like I wouldn't mind just slipping under, but with no active plans. Feeling like I can't talk to any of my family or friends because of how they would respond.

this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2024
296 points (95.7% liked)

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