The title comes from LD’s 1st Season finale, “No Small Parts”, when CMDR Jack Ransom, XO of the USS Cerritos, refers to the TOS era as “Those Old Scientists”.

We start on Stardate 58460.1 in an animated segment. This places it in 2381, and sometime between LD 3x06: “Hear All, Trust Nothing” (58456.2) and LD 3x09: “Trusted Sources” (58496.1). 3x07 and 3x08 don’t have stardate references. The ship is doing a check on the Krulmuth-B portal, which has been dormant for 120 years - and if you do the calculations you can see where this is going.

Boimler says the portal was discovered by Pike and the “second” Enterprise and refers to Una as “Numero Una” to Mariner’s annoyance. Rutherford talks about teleron radiation. I’m assuming it’s not a CC typo and it’s distinct from “thalaron radiation” (Nemesis).

Tendi’s great-grandmother was on an Orion science vessel, and she claims the Orions were the ones who actually discovered the portal (which looks vaguely Stargate-like). Rutherford is wearing a holographic imager around his neck (last seen in LD: “Veritas” and of the type first seen in VOY: “Latent Image”).

Rutherford picks up traces of horonium. Hōra is the Greek word for “time”, from which we get the word horology, the art of making clocks. Boimler says Starfleet used horonium in NX-class ships, because it was lightweight, durable and was the right shade of grey (Mariner refers to the Starfleet History Museum - it’s not clear if this is the same as the Fleet Museum from PIC).

Boimler screams “Remember me!” as he gets sucked into the portal, in the way that Beverly Crusher is also almost sucked into one in TNG: “Remember Me”. The phrase is originally from Shakespeare, specifically Hamlet Act I, sc v when the Ghost says: “Adieu, adieu, adieu. Remember me,” as he exits. The line is repeated by Hamlet later in the scene.

The title sequence for this episode is animated in the LD style, with the space beast from the LD titles now suckling on the back of the Enterprise. Now I want an animated model of the Enterprise to match my Titan. At the end when the title card comes up we see the outline of the cosmic koala next to the planet (LD: “Moist Vessel”).

Pike’s log is stardated 2291.6. Enterprise is delivering a shipment of grain to a colony on Setlik II. In the future (c. 2347), the Setlik III colony would be the site of an infamous massacre during the Cardassian wars with the Federation (TNG: “The Wounded”).

Una reports that Boimler’s delta is also a communicator, confirming once and for all that SNW’s deltas are not. Boimler has purple hair, like he does when animated. On awakening he calls out, “Computer end program,” thinking he’s on a holodeck. He refers to the ship’s S/COMS operating system as opposed to LCARS in his era.

La’An is uniquely qualified to lecture on temporal protocols as she’s gone through the same experience (SNW: “Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow”). She talks about not making any attachments owing to the trauma she underwent when the alternate Jim Kirk died in her arms in the past. Boimler accidentally lets slip Worf’s name.

Boimler waits in Pike’s office, as evidenced by the presence of the saddle and he calls out “Riker” as he mounts it with the Riker Maneuver (the popular explanation for the move is that Frakes suffered a back injury but although that injury did result in him doing the “Riker lean”, Frakes said in an interview that the chair maneuver was that he felt it was a cocky move suited to Riker, and no one stopped him so it stuck).

Boimler asks if M’Benga is holding a classic TS-122 tricorder and M’Benga says it’s a TS-120. In the 24th Century, tricorders are of the TR series. Boimler theorizes that radioisotopes from the holographic imager set the portal off. Boimler is startled when Spock laughs.

The ship is an Orion scout ship, technically first appearing in TOS: “Journey to Babel” as just a glowing blob, but redesigned as a more detailed CGI model for the remastered episode by Michael Okuda. A slight continuity contradiction arises: in “Babel” Spock doesn’t recognize the configuration of the scout ship when they encounter it then.

Boimler says “NCC-1701 dash nothing,” referring to the future ships’ names in homage to the original and of course puzzling Una and La’An. He identifies Ortegas as a war hero, referring to her service in the Klingon War. Captain Harr Caras commands the Orion science vessel D’Var.

I can’t feel that sorry for Boims having his chops busted, because I’d just love being paid attention to like that by Jess Bush and Melissa Navia. He says this is the “golden age of exploration”, echoing Pike’s words from the previous episode. He lets slip that Pike’s birthday is on Friday (on movie night) and is a holiday in the 24th Century.

Chapel is rather devastated to learn that she’s not mentioned in books on Spock in the future. Boimler refers to Spock’s pet sehlat (TAS: “Yesteryear”). Ortegas calls Boimler “Future Boy”, a nickname Doc Brown applied to Marty McFly in Back to the Future.

Turns out the grain Pike is carrying is trititicale. Its variant, quadrotriticale, would be central to the Federation’s efforts on Sherman’s Planet in TOS: “The Trouble with Tribbles”. Presumably it’s a three-lobed version as opposed to the four-lobed quadrotriticale. Triticale is a real life grain that writer David Gerrold based quadrotriticale on in “Tribbles”.

Mariner uses up the last of the horonium in the portal, and Una says there’s hasn’t been a supply for a hundred years. Mariner says for all she knew Boimler could have been “stuck in a dystopian San Francisco in the middle of a riot”, referring to the Bell Riots of DS9: “Past Tense”. She finds young Spock hot, much like Jazdia Dax did to his slightly older counterpart in DS9: “Trials and Tribble-lations”.

Boimler does the “Section 31 speed walk” when walking away from Mariner down the corridors (LD: “Envoys”), which he claimed conserved energy. Una wonders if Boimler’s poster is a “pin-up” poster, of which there are very many of Rebecca Romijn.

Uhura says she’s 22 (the same age as Celia Rose Golding), which immediately makes this old chronologist’s mind start doing calculations. The official Star Trek website places her birth year as 2239, which would make the present year 2261, which sort of tracks (my estimate is between 2260-61).

Mariner quotes Starfleet labor codes: section 48-Alpha-7: “Officers must take meal breaks at regular intervals”. She claims that she knows those that help her slack off. She makes Orion Hurricanes for Uhura and Ortegas, although they don’t have Orion delaq, which she says will mess them up. Uhura’s PADD shows her comparing the inscriptions on the portal to Bajoran and Cardassian script.

Ortegas refers to Starbase Earhart, probably best remembered as housing the Bonestell Entertainment Facility where Jean-Luc Picard was stabbed by Nausicaans in 2337 (TNG: “Tapestry”). It also had a dom-jot table. Mariner and Tendi visited it in LD: “We’ll Always Have Tom Paris”. Mariner says Nausicaans are terrible at dom-jot, a billiard-type game, but still love to bet on it. Ortegas’ recognition of the letters leads Uhura to discover the language is a thousands-years old ancient Nausicaan dialect.

Boimler seeks solace in Engineering. Pelia says there is nothing quite so soothing as a properly calibrated warp core, which Boimler would agree with as he’s often said in LD that warp cores are cool. Pelia’s quote is from Cary Grant, which implies she knew him.

Mariner chides Boimler for shouting “Holy Q” because they hadn’t met him yet in the 23rd Century but qualifies it with “they had kind of a Trelane thing going on.” Fanon often states that Trelane (TOS: “The Squire of Gothos”) and Q are related because their MO is remarkably similar. This link was made explicit in the novels (Q-Squared). Mariner has met Q before (LD: “Veritas”).

Boimler remarks how slow and quietly everyone talks in this era, in stark contrast to the high-speed and intense dialogue they use on the half-hour animated Lower Decks.

Boimler once dressed up as Pike for Halloween, and had to contour his chin to fit. Pike confesses he and his father never got along, and that was never resolved. This year is the first year he’s older than his father when he died. He planned to fish on Setlik II’s ice moon with a bottle of whiskey and have an imaginary talk with his father.

Pike refers to Archer’s Enterprise, the NX-01, which reminds Boimler that horonium was used in its construction (a little over a hundred years ago). Boimler talks about the NX-01’s grapplers (which La’An loves), the precursor to a ship’s tractor beam. Grapplers were also seen in SNW: “Life Us Where Suffering Cannot Reach”.

Starfleet tradition is that every time a new ship is commissioned, construction starts with an old piece of the last ship that bore the name (which explains why Boimler called this the “second” Enterprise). Which means there’s a piece of horonium on the ship.

The piece in question appears to be a gas cylinder. Ortegas says she’s a fan of Travis Mayweather, first pilot of the NX-01, and her middle school gym was named after him. Uhura mentions Hoshi Sato, who spoke 86 languages - Uhura wrote 3 papers on her at the Academy. I’m happy to see the NX-01 crew get the love they never quite got when the series was around.

Mariner tells Una that Boimler’s pin-up of her is a recruitment poster and inspired Boimler to join Starfleet. Una is moved that they put “ad astra per aspera” on the poster, the Starfleet motto she quoted during her trial (SNW: “Ad Astra Per Aspera”).

Captain Caras recognizes Tendi’s title “Mistress of the Winter Constellations” (“We’ll Always Have Tom Paris”) and says that he has an Astrea Tendi on his ship. Pike’s offer to give the Orion scientists credit also explains why Tendi tells Boimler that Orions discovered the portal. I wish we could have seen Nöel Wells in live action, though.

Ransom calls “Numero Una” the hottest first officer in Starfleet history. Ransom is voiced by Jerry O’Connell, who is married to Rebecca Romijn. Mariner says Ransom sleeps face down “like a baby”.

We are rewarded with an animated SNW epilogue, which is explained by them hallucinating after imbibing Orion Hurricanes with real delaq.