What exactly am I "pulling out of my ass"?

Nobody said it's a person

You're talking about Nintendo as if it's a person with phrases like your bullet point 2.

I'm not defending anyone. I'm describing how a corporation is likely to react in capitalism. I don't condone any of this: I don't condone copyright laws, I don't condone legal threats, I don't condone capitalism. I just try to describe how systems behave without trying to get morality involved by claiming a company is (or is run by) an or several assholes.

I also don't condone nuclear weapons when I describe the strategy of deterrence by mutually assured destruction.