That ain't moonshine.

Moonshine is what you get from a shady hillbilly type off the side of a dirt road sitting in a shack with two shotguns on a wall. You ask him if he got any and he says something like "not fur free" with an almost toothless smile. He's got horrible hair a stringy beard, and you get the sense he's the kind of guy who don't wash his hands a lot.

You give him the money first, then he takes a shotgun and walks behind the shack. He hands you the two gallons you bought, one in one of those plastic gallon jugs you get milk in and the other a weird looking metal pot that doesn't look close to a gallon but you realize it's probably best not to argue with this guy.

He pulls out a metal cup and another jug (that he left behind under the table he was at to get your stuff) and says "firs ones on me" pours you some, and you better fucking take it.

Yeah, there's a real risk that this stuff might have less safe alcohols in it, but these guys don't wanna die so it's usually safe so you take the swig and regret everything that lead you up to this point as you cough down the highest proof corn and something else liquor you've ever had.

You politely tell him thank you and he gives you that grotesque smile as you drive away.