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Making close friends as an adult (beehaw.org)
submitted 1 year ago by emeraldheart@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org
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Hi everyone! I'm in my late 20s and I've been reminiscing on my young adult life and what I like/don't like. One point that has been coming up for me is close, vulnerable friendships. I used to have a few friends who I was very close to a few years ago, who I could talk to about deep life stuff, big emotions, vulnerable feelings and worries, and also just enjoy time together discussing silly/serious media or the world.

I have since lost these friends, one way or another. Some simply drifted, some left in a flurry of drama and hurt feelings. I thankfully kept some friends, but a lot of them have been lost.

Despite the volatility of those friendships, there was something I was getting from them that I really needed and still need. I think that need is simply the human desire for close companionship. I have a partner, and he's wonderful; he's not particularly feel-y however, and my friends aren't either. I think I need more emotionally-vulnerable people.

My question is this... How does one make these friends as an adult? In fact, how does one make any friends as an adult? I'm finding myself not knowing how to proceed and find other emotional folk. Any advice would be appreciated. <3

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[-] janus2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 year ago

I would say start with hobby-based circles. Look for local events and meetups (concerts, games, hobby shop events, etc.) as a way to meet people.

If you happen to like TTRPGs, in my experience that's a fast track to very close friendships that tend to have the deeper level of connection you're describing. My guess is because TTRPGs require good communication, the comeraderie tends to come naturally faster than any other given group of people. It's never a guarantee, but it's certainly worth a try if you're already into tabletop games or are curious to get into them

I hope you find excellent homies ASAP, wherever you find them :]

[-] emeraldheart@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

I appreciate this feedback! Strangely, my D&D group has not yielded these kinds of friends. I still really value these friendships, though! We just aren't particularly vulnerable with each other. Maybe I'll make a second, separate group.

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this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2023
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