Asklemmy

47667 readers

794 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago

MODERATORS

Can my sisters friend truly be excused for mental health? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by AuroraGlamour@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

9 comments fedilink hide all child comments

My sister Lena’s friend regularly screamed at her, made fun of people, was ableist, etc.

She is on-and-off nice and mean. Right now, she’s nice. Before, she hated Lena. Now, she likes Lena. In a few months, she’ll hate Lena again.

Lena’s friend believes nothing is ever her fault and refuses to get help. She is very secretive and guarded, and acts very paranoid. Along with her defensive behavior, this makes me think she’s sadly being abused if she isn’t just a jerk.

She has quite the ego, but I’m not sure if it can be justified. Lena wants to be her friend and help her even with her behavior.

(She apparently has NPD)

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] underreacting@literature.cafe 6 points 5 days ago

We can't fix other peoples issues for them.

We can choose to support them if they are actively trying to fix their own issues.

We can also decide that even though they are trying the impact is too big on us and distance ourselves.

But if they aren't actually trying to better themselves there is nothing we can do except protect ourselves.

Your sister needs to look into co-dependence and trauma-bonding (if not in this case then for future reference), and focus on becoming emotionally independent rather than confusing nurturing with doormat. She can only fix her own issues, not her friends. And learn that not every friend is worth the title.