this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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There are more and more kids who aren’t allowed on social media because of its multifarious harms. Don’t forget that 20 years ago, no kids had social media. By all accounts, kids were doing fine back then. Also, OP said that her eldest daughter, at least, has a friend group, so your concern about their social isolation is probably misplaced.
It's pretty clear that OP's daughter does feel like she's missing out on things her friends are doing, that's why she is asking. Social isolation doesn't have to be total to be damaging to your mental health, especially if you're an extrovert.
And bringing up "but in my time..." Yeah, no. Not a comparable situation. If everyone is on social media and you're not, you're going to be left out of at least some things, there's just no way around it.
Almost every kid has felt that they were missing out on something because of parental rules at some point. The kids who had no rules were not necessarily the lucky ones, since good parenting always involves setting boundaries. i’m really not making the “in my time” argument because if we fixed the problems with social media i would have no problem letting my kids use something i didn’t have access to. to me it’s about balancing risks: make it safer, then let kids use it! after all, op is opening the door by making this post. she is directly responding to the expressed desire of her kids and trying to find a safe way to let her daughters access the tools they think they need.