this post was submitted on 29 Jun 2025
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Relationships
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I think it's not any one stand-alone thing, but the sum total. Is kissing important? Probably, but also not much value without deep, meaningful conversation. Conversely, deep, meaningful conversation without physical connection also starts to ring hollow.
It's a key symptom, I'd say. Relationship health is a deep and subtle thing, but if people aren't kissing then it's unlikely things are going well.
There are couples who have been together over 50 years who long stopped kissing and sexing. They're still together because that's not what their relationship is founded on/evolved to be. There are other reasons to be solid, some more healthy than others. I know people in sexless, kissless relationships that are healthy relationships, and those that are in hypersexual relationships that aren't. I just don't think there's a one size fits all.
Precisely why I say 'unlikely'. For every couple who's happy without physical intimacy, there are probably ten others that are falling apart. Saying that kisslessness signals disfunction is not the same thing as saying that hypersexuality signals health.
At the end of the day, everyone is different and it's not possible to infer anything about an individual couple by looking at averages and correlation. It's still interesting to look at trends and why they might be the way they are.