this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2025
132 points (100.0% liked)
WomensStuff
423 readers
352 users here now
Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.
Rules…
- Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women's community is a good fit for them.
- Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
- Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
- No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.
- New accounts or users with few comments may have their posts removed to prevent spam and bad-faith participation.
founded 4 months ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
A lot of this mental load is, in a way, self inflicted. You don't HAVE to constantly think of others, you don't HAVE to fix everything, and sometimes people don't learn until you stop managing all their problems for them.
Professionally, you can just stop taking responsibility for other people's problems. As long as you keep juggling things, others will keep throwing you stuff. Just warn them, and let the next thing smash on the floor.
And privately... Well, assuming you're talking about another functioning adult, you can simply split responsibility. And that means YOU need to let it go. My partner is responsible for the laundry. Do they fold it like I would? No. Do they do it on the day I would? Nope. Does it get done? Yes. So I let go. I don't juggle the details, because it's not my responsibility. I trust them to do it.
So nah, I'm not really struggling with any of it. And a lot of what i could be worrying about, I can just schedule and make lists for and automate. It's 2025, my phone can tell me when to do something, so I can stop thinking about it.
Edit: yes, I do realize this is much easier said than done. Some of these are deep aspects of your psyche.
You have to make sure at work you don't get blamed for other people's fuck ups, or that their bad decisions will cause huge problems for you
The warning should include several CYA mails, in that case.