You actually did pretty well. Buddhism teaches that suffering exists, but also that it has a cause. Once that cause is perceived and understood, it will cease. It then goes on about how to do that. It’s pretty much how an angry software developer version of the Buddha would react, I imagine.

The ironic bit is that none of the religions/philosophies mentioned are particularly god-oriented. Some forms of Buddhism have various concepts for other beings that are like gods in some ways, but they’re not generally considered the main focus of the belief system. Not only can one be completely atheistic and materialist and still be a great Buddhist, it’s not even really necessary to believe that a historical Buddha existed if you want to get technical.

I know people are annoyed by tone indicators, but this is what /j is for

Not far off, actually.

It's like...

You're in bed, asleep, super peaceful. it's great. Then you get shook awake because your parents got you a game for your birthday they think you'll be stoked about—they're doing what they think is best, for them. It could be Baldur's Gate 3, it could be Daikatana, not up to you. But you can rage quit or enjoy it, helping others out on the Steam Community along the way. Once you complete it, you get to go back to bed again. That might be awesome or it might be sad, but the day ends asleep, super peaceful. It's great.

Then (maybe) you get woken up by your parents that got you a new game for your birthday...