There are several schools of thought on the ego, one of the more prominent ones being the conquering or killing of the ego. I personally found a lot more clarity in understanding and accepting the ego, seeing it as a part of my mental and emotional landscape that focuses on meeting my basic needs. I definitely agree however that it can be aggressive and loud, drowning out higher order of thought and interfering with oneness mentality.

It sounds like your ego is trying to communicate something, like an unhappiness or discontent with your present situation. If you're in a good spot to do so, I advise listening to what it has to say even if it is very uncomfortable and sobering and unsettling. Make a list too if it helps. I've done this and as wildly uncomfortable and downright depressing it can get, it can also offer unparalleled clarity into what needs are not being met. And we humans are no strangers to neglect.

Above all else, trust your gut. And throw away any and all parts of this advice/feedback as needed. It's the advice I wish I had when I was in a similar situation