I wear UGG boots in winter because it's fucking cold.
I also wrap myself in a blanket on the couch, and have a lovely area rug so I don't have to walk on a cold floor. All these things are necessary to survive the winter; my house isn't well insulated.
The problem with all this, is that I build up a static charge. So when I go to pat my beautiful sweetheart of a dog, I zap him. It's audible and I'm sure, quite unpleasant. Often on the head. He obviously doesn't like that, I think he's taking it personally, and I feel awful. It completely cancels out the affection I'm trying to show him.
So the question for the Lemmy community is:
How do I discharge the static before I pat my dog? I have started shocking my partner (which he doesn't like, but accepts over the alternative), before patting my dog. But as he's out tonight, I have no human vessel to offer as tribute?
What can I touch in my house before patting my dog so that he doesn't receive a shock?
Edit: standard Australian house and furniture
Another edit: I'm all the sheets to the wind so the engineering advice is not sinking in. But I'm loving the immediate response that I'd never have gotten on Deaddit.
Again: I can't stop giggling at how helpful everyone is being and how short m, drunk and silly I am, in a house with apparently no metal
And again: I should probably take me and my baby to bed now, but a big thank you to everyone who replied. You've all been lovely. Lemmy is really a different space to ask these questions! I'll be trying out many of your suggestions over the weekend; big thanks from me and my boy x
Final: thanks to everyone who responded. I did try the kitchen tap again last night and this time it worked! Mustn't have built up enough charge when I tried the night I posted. I will still primarily zap my partner's leg as it's usually closer and doing it makes me laugh. It's important he understands where he fits in the household hierarchy as well. I also learnt that American houses are very different (screws and radiators everywhere!) so that was interesting too.
Anti-static keychain! They're small, cheap, and buyable on Amazon. You basically just touch it and it discharges the static without hurting. Life saver for me, my hair builds up a lot of static and I used to shock myself and family all the time.
A keychain you carry in your pocket is somehow supposed to discharge your static charge? I'm sorry, but electricity does not work like that. Unless the keychain has a ground wire of course, but the things image search showed me are just as effective as touching coins in your pocket.
I don't know about keychains, but antistatic wrist straps are absolutely a thing and are very important for people who regularly work with electronic hardware. But I think you're right in that these devices use a ground wire. There's also antistatic bags, but again, it just protects what's inside, and doesn't discharge you unless it's touching something else it can discharge to, I believe. Ultimately these are tools used mostly to prevent you from building up static while you work, and not really something you could just wear around the house.