I have no advice for you, as I live in a very humid place without very much risk of static shocks. I just want to say this question and post are hilarious.

Get a second dog which you pet before the other one?

No metal? Get some Megadeath albums to fix that.

Here in the us there are certain fabric sprays that help with static buildup, so there might be some alternative over there in Australia.

A humidifier will also work but is pricier in comparison.

Lastly you can wrap a cover cable to your anke and burry the other side in the ground 😆

I've read all the responses here and am horrified that you seem to live in an ungrounded plastic bubble. Is that a Canberra thing? Or can't even find a small metal object the size of a coin to make discharging painless, how why?

If it's an old house there should be tonnes of metal things to touch.

Corners of walls, radiators or central air vents or return air vents, screws on switches or power outlets, furniture with metal bits on it, sinks taps and water fixtures with metal parts, thermostat, fireplace casing.

Literally touch everything and report back.

Two suggestions: run a humidifier. Preferably use a steam one with distilled water. The ultrasonic cool mist ones introduce any minerals and bacteria that are in the water into the air.

The easiest suggestion is to change your blanket. I'm guessing you're wrapping yourself in a fuzzy fleece blanket. Synthetic fibers like polyester transfer way more static charge than natural fibers. Try looking for a cotton or wool throw. Or for something fuzzy, find a sheep pelt with wool on it. Even using a cotton sheet between you and your current blanket should reduce the amount of charge buildup.

A side benefit of changing blanket materials, is that any blanket that generates a lot of static charge also holds loads of dust and pet hairs. A less static generating blanket will stay cleaner longer.

The easiest way to discharge is to touch a metal faucet. If you have copper pipes, they'll be grounded, but even just the tap water is conductive enough to dissipate most of the charge.

If by any chance you have wall sockets with the ground connection exposed, you could touch that before petting the good boy/girl.

Anything conductive and grounded. For example, a lamp with a steel or copper body.

You probably need to get a humidifier. Low humidity is very common in the winter, and creates (or at least encourages) static buildup. Added bonus is that it will make your place feel warmer at the same time.

You may also want to invest in better insulation. Even if you just rent, there are a variety of cheap and temporary options that can save you a bundle on heating and cooling.

I've lived in Denver for the past 15 years or so, this is a problem I relate to. If you live in a house or apartment with drywall, it turns out that the corners are made of metal under the plaster. For years I have discharged myself by bumping my forearms against the corner of a wall before flipping a light switch to avoid a painful shock on the tips of my fingers

Order a giant metal statue of your dog to put pride of place in your home as an apology to the dog

As a bonus, it will function as something you can touch to earth yourself

alternatively you could try an anti-static wrist strap but i'm not sure it'll help since you still need something to ground it against

My mom makes a chain of safety pins (about 8-10 long) and attaches it to her clothes. Then you grab the chain and touch things with it (or it touches things as it dangles) to discharge w/o pain or hurting others. I tried it, seemed to work.

How about a chain, mate? You can get one at Bunnings by the metre. You can place this somewhere convenient and touch it with the quarter as another commenter said. Not sure if carrying one in your pocket and casually dragging it on the floor would work.

Alternatively just stick a fork in a plant pot, that'll do for grounded metal I hope

Hold your key's metal part and touch some other metal that is earthed to discharge yourself.

By holding the key, you provide a way bigger surface area for transferring the charge, so it won't hurt you.

Buy a object like a lamp that has 3 prongs and exposed metal. Before you pet your dog touch the lamp. 3 prongs so thats it's grounded.

Also when you touch your dog for the first time touch him on his body with you whole hand at once, it'll spread the shock over a larger area and be less painful.

On the plus side, your dog must be convinced that you are a wizard. You need something to ground yourself on.

You can touch a sink to discharge!

Touch a radiator. Radiators should be earthed. You can also touch the screws on light switches and sockets, or your sink or stove. Any earthed metal, metal appliances (eg kettles and toasters) should work also. They have to be plugged in, but don't need to be on.

You're in Australia right? Can't be that cold, just tough it out.

Just kidding, personal heating is a very good solution to being cold. It's much better for the environment and your wallet than heating your house/room.

I use electric blankets though no UGGs. Except rare occasions, my cats don't get zapped. Have you tried going without and see if it makes a difference?

I cant think of a sacrificial shock absorber, but perhaps you could not shuffle your UGGs around, and not build up static? I'm assuming your rug is synthetic and possibly causing it, but I could be wrong

Run some grounded wire around the edges of your couch. That'll be constantly discharging you. You could also use an anti-static mat that's grounded. And that would slowly discharge you as well. If you laid an anti-static mat over the armrest of your sofa, that would ground you as well. Run some copper from the inside of your UGGs to the outside so it makes contact with the ground, you can use copper foil. You're going to be constantly generating charge in a low humidity environment, especially with the materials you've described using. You're only solution is to discharge that potential with ground

Easiest way to address this is to wear a metal Casio watch and have it touch anything metallic attached to a wall like door latch guides or maybe even coat hangers to dissipate any static electricity. Another choice is to grab the metal part of a key and tap them as well.

A metal doorknob works for me usually.

A metal radiator might ground you.