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submitted 1 year ago by alyaza@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org

a bit of a late post today but i've been exceedingly busy working on some important stuff on the side and that's taken up most of my time. things are going pretty good currently and are generally productive.

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[-] jarfil@beehaw.org 5 points 1 year ago

My boy died about a year and a half ago and I’m still not over it. Isn’t this shit supposed to get easier with time?

Someone described it to be like the sea: first you fall off the deep end, and you feel like drowning. After some time you manage to get to the surface, but ever so often a wave comes rolling over and makes you gasp for air. Over time, the waves come less often, they get smaller... then once in a blue moon a big one comes and pushes you under again... but hopefully the next one will be a small one.

CW

I've been through a lot of pets over the decades, mostly cats but also some dogs. Having to care after another 5 or 10 all the time, made it easier to get busy and forget for a while about the one that had just gone away, but to this day I get emotional while remembering some good old friend from 20 or 30 years ago. When my mom passed away earlier this year, whom I've been close to, the only thing that made me move were some decent benzos (aka "f-it-all" pills). Having to give away 8 cats over the following few months, hasn't been easy though, even if there are about 6 or 8 more left (some come and go, some haven't come back in a while). It's been hard to look at them without remembering the others, or thinking that even these may need to go soon. I haven't lived without pets since I was like 6, not really sure how to even do it, much less completely alone.

[-] liv@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Someone described it to be like the sea

That sounds like the famous GSnow comment, also known as "Grief comes in waves". I find that incredibly helpful and comforting. Here's a non reddit link in case you or @Flyinx@beehaw.org want to read it.

[-] Amamsa@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

That's beautiful, i never heard of it so thank you for sharing. I have a scar from one of my - deceased - dogs; she had sharp nails. I love that scar; it's like she left a permanent memory on my skin

[-] liv@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

My pleasure. I really relate about your dog memory scar! I have one from my deceased cat and love it for the same reason.

this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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