So I know I don't need a label but I'm trying to sort out some feelings I think conventional society doesn't give us much room to think about. Pardon the rant. Would love discussion.
I know I'm Pansexual and enby and panromantic. I am in a long term monogamous relationship. But I can fall intensely in love with others, while still being intensely in love with my partner. My partner is monogamous, and I am happy to respect that. I think there is a lot of pressure in media to have to pursue every sexual and romantic desire. They press this message that if you "fall in love" with someone else than you must have also fallen out of love with the other. But I don't find this to be true for myself.
I'm not sure where I'm going exactly why this. Still working through a nebula. Any thoughts?? Ty!
Edit: I just want to thank everyone for their input and advice. I truly appreciate it. I always figured I was poly I guess. But I don't necessarily need to be in that kind of partnership. As I've gotten older, I've been able to be at peace with my "outside" attractions, I'll sit with it and experience while realizing that I'm not compelled to act on it unless it's the right thing to do for me and my partner. My partner is definitely monogamous and needs to be the only sexual partner. I'm ok with it. I respect them and love them and I love our relationship.
Even so, I really would like to know more about this part of myself, so I especially appreciate the book recommendation and hearing other experiences.
I'm sorry I haven't responded to comments, been very busy and will do so tomorrow most likely.
Love you all!
Don't let the name of this book fool you, but go read "Polysecure" it talks about what is going on in your head and what your partner might be thinking about. It really changed my mind about how to approach anything to do with non-monogamy.
Oh man. Polysecure gave me so many of the words I needed but didn't have.