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Should I Be Worried?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2023
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Relationship Advice
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How long have they been ethically non-monogamous? Have they done the work to be ready to do it? I go to polyamory meetups and this isn't unusual for couples who have recently changed the type of relationship they had and didn't do much, if any, of the prep work. There is a lifetime of monogamy centric, or exclusive, experiences and media consumption that can be hard to let go of for some people.
Whether it's jealousy or insecurity or something totally unrelated to your and Kay's relationship, it'll be up to you to communicate your own needs, concerns, or anything else and decide whether or not you want to continue, change, or end the relationship based on those discussions.
I'm crossing my fingers for you that he's not an "ENM for me but not for thee" kind of person. If he is, then Kay will also have to decide if the relationship with Jon is something she wants. That, too, isn't unusual in new ENM couples.
I cannot answer those questions. I can speculate. I feel they are new to ENM relationships and may have entered into it as a way to find new partners. Not much prep work or ground rules. Idk. It is kinda looking like Jon is that kind of person. I am so thankful for your advice! I will have to prepare a message to Kay. Any advice on how to communicate my concerns?
I have this: Hey Kay! So, I have a few questions that have been in my head for a bit. I have decided to ask you. When we last chilled, why was Jon so upset? Your demeanor changed as well when they got home. And the next time we were going to chill and you had to "process" something. Was that about us? Is Jon jealous? When y'all decided to become an ENM relationship, what was your true intention? I ask these questions because if I am the cause of any issues, we need to discuss them and figure out what's going to happen. I care for you. I want you to be happy, content, and safe. I don't want you to do anything you do not want to. And I want you to be free to do what you want.