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Should I Be Worried? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Gamaxray@lemmy.world to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world
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Hello, I(31M) guess I will begin from the start of this relationship. I became friends with Kay(24F) who is a is an ENM relationship with Jon(24M). Kay and I really hit it off and began being intimate. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. While Kay and I were chilling Jon came home and was so upset he could barely contain himself. Kay's demeanor changed as well. I just ignored it. The next time I was going to chill with Kay, she couldn't because Jon needed to "apparently process something". A week later I met up with Kay and she said she was overwhelmed and couldn't hang out as often. I just took it at face value. I haven't seen her since. She continues to text me, and insists she wants to see me. I am definitely confused, but should I be worried?

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[-] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

My sympathies, jealousy is an insidious little bugger. I saw in your other post that Jon may be an "ENM for me not for thee" type. Though it seems that the ENM was going well for a bit. Maybe he realised his feelings for Kay were more monogamous than he understood them to be (forgive my monogamy bias, per my last comment haha).

I like your idea of messaging Kay and finding out where she's at, and how things have evolved - if you have already, I hope you were able to have a fruitful discussion. If not, I think it's your best approach.

One more thought. You're in your 30s now, they're in their mid 20s. As you approach this, try to remember how unstable and odd life was at that age - simultaneously being on top of the world and completely lost. Your extra years and maturity may help you navigate your own feelings about this and bring compassion for yourself and them as the situation unpacks, esp. if it turns hard (easier said than done, I know).

I hope things pan out well for you, and you're able to shift back to enjoying your ENM relationship. All the best :)

this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2023
15 points (89.5% liked)

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