Well, my mom is abusive, too. But cis men being abusive is something structural. That is the difference between the two.

And sure, I know that cis men are just people like everybody else and they also suffer from patriarchy. But in the same time they just don't show any (or not enough) progress in emancipating themselves from their roles as men. I'm not against the humans that are cis men per se, but I would love to see manhood abolished and these same people to be free themselves. But I guess the problem is that most of them have so many privileges and perceive themselves as the default humans that they have a hard time reflecting upon their role and their privileges.