men

7 readers

1 users here now

This magazine is dedicated to discussions of issues that men and boys face, especially disadvantages or discrimination due to their gender, from an egalitarian perspective.

founded 2 years ago

I feel like less of a man because of how emotionally sensitive I am. (lemmy.fmhy.ml)

submitted 2 years ago by PostalDude@lemmy.fmhy.ml to c/men@kbin.social

54 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I don't know how else to describe it, but all my male friends and family are very unemotional. Not in the sense that they don't feel anything, but that they are a lot better at handling them and I feel like I'm not. I've tried meditation, therapy, healthy eating and a better sleep schedule but nothing works. I still anger and get upset at the smallest things and I feel like I'm less masculine than my friends. Im even known as the super emotional guy in the group and they often tease me about it, which makes things worse. My family constantly talk down to me as I don't work out much and am very thin and short while my younger bros are jacked and tall. I don't know what to do and really needed to get this off my chest. Thank you.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Bluskale@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

If you live in an oligarchy, does that make you an oligarch? Are you responsible for what the oligarchs do? If not, then why does the same not apply to patriarchy?

Contrary to your perspective here, I think it is useful to examine the social context, including how gender is systemically wielded to reinforce power structures that were designed to support the lifestyles of a select few. Living in a patriarchal society doesn't mean you inherently benefit simply by being a man. It's more about putting you into a box so you behave as expected and perform the roles pushed onto you. Having narrow definitions of masculinity or femininity and strictly defined gender roles (no crossing over!) are a big part of building and maintaining those boxes for everyone.

This post above particularly emphasized the value of breaking out of those expectations:

Removing other peoples expectations of what you should be and living based on your own expectations is freeing. [...] You will be happier since you can focus on what makes you happy not what others want think will make you happy.

[–] a-man-from-earth@kbin.social 7 points 2 years ago

power structures that were designed to support the lifestyles of a select few

Exactly. It's not men in general that have been in power, but a select few men and women. It is then incorrect to use the terms patriarchy and patriarchal systems (as commonly understood) to describe our society. Because there are plenty of men at the bottom too, even more so.

[–] Dienervent@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago

Contrary to your perspective here, I think it is useful to examine the social context, including how gender is systemically wielded to reinforce power structures that were designed to support the lifestyles of a select few. Living in a patriarchal society doesn't mean you inherently benefit simply by being a man. It's more about putting you into a box so you behave as expected and perform the roles pushed onto you. Having narrow definitions of masculinity or femininity and strictly defined gender roles (no crossing over!) are a big part of building and maintaining those boxes for everyone.

This is not contrary to my perspective. I completely agree with this. I disagree with naming the cause of this problem "patriarchy". I consider this to be engaging in victim blaming.

[–] dumples@kbin.social 4 points 2 years ago

Contrary to your perspective here, I think it is useful to examine the social context, including how gender is systemically wielded to reinforce power structures that were designed to support the lifestyles of a select few. Living in a patriarchal society doesn't mean you inherently benefit simply by being a man. It's more about putting you into a box so you behave as expected and perform the roles pushed onto you. Having narrow definitions of masculinity or femininity and strictly defined gender roles (no crossing over!) are a big part of building and maintaining those boxes for everyone.

This is a great definition. It shows how these hierarchical systems are set up to support just a few. Everyone else gets just enough to survive but only by sacrificing a portion of their selves. They are suppose to feel lucky since they are not at the bottom.