Let's say there are two kids, Adam and Brad.

Adam bullies Brad. He will hit Brad, destroy his belongings, and make mean spirited jokes about him.

When Brad tries to deal with Adam peacefully, it does not end well for him. Ignoring the jokes does not make them stop. Asking nicely for Adam to stop destroying his things does not work, nor does trying to hide his stuff or asking him to stop sternly. Trying to deescalate, walk away, or defend himself does not stop the beatings.

Brad asks authority for help. Authority tells him that Adam has a hard home life and to cut him some slack. They tell Brad that Adam will eventually stop on his own.

Adam does not stop after Brad tries his best to keep the peace. One day, when Adam hits Brad, Brad hits back.

Adam goes to authority and tells them that Brad hit him. Brad is now in trouble and gets punished by authority.

I do not believe this is fair. Brad was just existing and Adam did everything he could to make Brad's existence pain. Brad did what he could to make Adam leave him alone, and it was necessary to eventually fight back. This is not "both sides."

The problem with what you are saying is that there are many people that are fighting for trans people to not have the care they need, not have access to normal services, and not be safe in their day-to-day lives. While these are US-centric, similar things are happening in other countries too.

The trans folks are not fighting for a difference in opinion, they are fighting just to live their lives. Their asking politely, voting, and peaceful protests have not stopped their systemic stripping of their rights. If they ignore orders, such as using a restroom they are banned from, they might even go to jail or get murdered. The threat is not just staying, it is also growing. It cannot be ignored. I agree that peacefully resolving conflicts is the best, and ignoring conflicts that just don't matter is preferable. But when it does matter and peace is not working, it is time to escalate.