Picture
Crying frog hiding his face
Transcript
>first time in gym
>my very first exercise is bench
>next to me are some zoomers and wiggers
>they snicker and say to themselves "This due looks like he sits behind computer 24/7"
>About to cry
>make up some bullshit like im thirsty and go to toilets so I can pack and leave
>Some dude stops me and say if he can use bench
>It's motherfucking Chad just like from the memes
>say yea
>Asks if I will spot him
>o-okay
>We start to talk he noticed im first timer in the gym
>He teaches me lifts we talk for hour and for this whole hour it feels like im safe and protected
>Mfw this chad says "see you tomorrow okay ? I have leg day and i will teach you deadlifts"
Is this how chads are ? Is this how it feels to die for king? It felt like dram but it was al real.
My king
My liege
WE WILL MAKE IT !
I'm so sick of how this word has become a slur for any guy that isn't a "Chad"
You can barely even approach a woman respectfully without coming off as a creep for having the audacity to approach a woman at all.
You don't even have to be ugly you just have to have the wrong "vibe" which means anything other than being a well off attractive man with no hint of emotional baggage.
This isn't even a solitary incel talking point it's even brought up by women about how men no longer approach them.
Almost like every man who isn't overly attractive with a well paying job being labeled a "creep" has caused most men to just say "fuck it it's not worth the effort"
And you can call me an incel but the statistics don't lie that men have stopped approaching women because it's not worth the potential headache
They've touched a nerve, have they?
I hear this over and over by the likes of you. What does that even mean? You walk up to random strangers and expect not to come of as a creep? Yeah right...
Ah yes all the numbers ans studies you've provided lol
Here is a intreresting fact: Nationwide, 81% of women and 43% of men reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment and/or assault in their lifetime. https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics
I wonder why women might be more carefull...
Touch some grass, smh
Nah he's completely correct but gets downvotes because people think he's defending incels because those people are morons.
Being a socially awkward loner is not what an incel is. It's just become a catchall for people society deemed weird, instead of the actual incels who are actually bad people.
Yes. That's the norm. That's been the norm. How the fuck else are you supposed to meet people?
Y'all can wave sexual assault statistics all you want but thinking anyone that approaches you is just a creep only deters people who aren't creeps.
All this extra hostility just makes guys who are even slightly insecure (me) just completely nope out entirely.
But I can sit here and try to explain how I'm not an incel and don't really have anything in common with most actual incels but this is the Internet and you've already made up your mind about me so this whole conversation is pointless.
You're right, maybe i came of more standoffish and condescending than intended. Forgive me, I'll try to be a bit more constructive.
The norm for whom? Yes some super extroverted people might do that, but you are you that type of person?
The same circle of friends, volunteering in non profits, hobbies or common interests would be my recommendation. Or do it like anon and start a sport. Basically touching gras, as i said :P Some of my friends tried dating apps, but I'm assuming they are even more superficial than walking up to good looking strangers (haven't tried them myself). Wouldn't recommend work...
Please put yourself in their position. It's really sad how common assholes and creeps are. There is a reason for selfdefense courses for women... Yeah you might not be a creep, but 9/10 are, so how could they tell.
The one thing you seemed to have in common was your lack of empathy for women. I have colleague who is getting stalked and you can really see how scared she is and how it warps her whole way of thinking... This was why i got so annoyed and condescending.
Only if argument for arguments sake is pointless to you. If it wasn't already clear, i love arguing over nonsense. I'll fight anyone who doesn't like pineapple on pizza (:
I have no problem arguing as long as the other person is actually willing to accept that I'm not what I seem.
I do have respect and empathy for women, but I also know that the struggles they deal with aren't going away anytime soon. The type of man that performs sensual harassment acts is not the type of man that's gonna change because people start seeing him as a creep. He generally knows he's a creep and has no intention of changing.
All this excess hostility has simply put non creepy men off to the point of not wanting to try at all because all it takes to be a creep is to look in the wrong direction at the wrong time. And so all women see are the creeps because they're generally the only ones still trying to approach women
Then women say "why aren't men standing up for us!?" and it's because most women treat most men as just predators.
Fuck I've even stopped a sexual assault and had the girl claim I only did it because I wanted to fuck her.
Like she literally couldn't even fathom that I just did it because that shits fuckin wrong. No it was only because pussy.
I know my experiences aren't universal but god fucking damn the amount of times I've been accused of doing something for the sole purpose of getting laid is fuckin unreal when I'm just trying to be a decent fucking person.
No, me asking if you need help, isn't me tryna get into your fuckin pants, you're carrying 80lbs worth of shit and I can clearly see your struggling, stop fucking freaking out just because I offered to help.
My experiences haven't been as bad but I do completely agree.
On another note, nobody can recommend work for finding a significant other because if it goes sour it could effect a lot more than feelings. But if you aren't comfortable approaching women, for whatever reason, work is a great place to build a friendship with someone that could possibly lead to more over time.
It does gross out some women when you tell them every serious relationship you've been in was with someone you worked with, so definitely don't let that slip until they actually know you. I was vibing really well with someone on bumble but as soon as I told her that, everything changed. Lots of "don't shit where you eat" talk. And at one point she implied I was with my manager for reasons other than feelings. She might have just been in a mood but I'm pretty sure I dodged a bullet there.
But that's not everyone, there are so many really amazing women out there. Some of us just have to wade through a lot of shit first. Stop being so angry at people you don't know yet, WORK ON YOURSELF and everything will fall into place. You will find your diamond.
Nah I'm with you. I don't use spyware apps (surprised? Shouldn't be, I'm on lemmy lol, and was 2y before ths exodus.) so the only one I could use is alovoa which I hear nobody uses anyway, and even then I haven't uploaded a pic of myself for privacy reasons since before 2014 so I'm not thrilled about that prospect, and the only acceptible place to talk to a strange woman is "the bar" but since I more or less quit drinking (my max is now like 3 in a night because I quit for a year and now have no tolerance and have to work at 7am anyway), and all the women I've met in the bar so far over these last 10yr seem to be "functioning for a month or so" alcoholics (the last one was abusive to boot), and now-a-days all I do is work, food store, home anyways so basically I'd have to see an attractive woman in the Aldi and what, strike up a convo about the basil pesto mac and cheese? "Hey this is weird but I saw you from across the frozen food section and I was wondering if you're not seeing anyone maybe you'd like to grab some coffee?" Can't do that, that's creepy, gotta do the swipe in the appropriate direction on the god-rectangle.
Most of my hobbies are kinda loner hobbies. I like books, can't meet women in the book store; I like comic books, comic stores are similarly out, and can't be the 400th creepy guy at a con to try and talk to a cosplayer; I like music, can't be the creepy guy trying to meet women at a show; I like walking through the botanical gardens near me, but can't be the creepy guy trying to talk to women there either, etc. All of my hobbies easily can be enjoyed with others, but typically others you already know and bring, or meet there (as in drive separately).
I completely agree about the mindset of "meeting women" being a hinder. That mindset only really works when you're in a setting where everybody is already horny
I mean, in context or just friends? Because I can do friends all day without being "the creepy guy who hit on so and so while she was just trying to enjoy comic con," or something, it's the attempt to date that is viewed as creepy, not "existence in public." But if there are places it is appropriate to say "hey I think you seem cool we should drink some fucking hot bean water" I'm unaware of them, and would like to be informed.
You think that I participate in the hobbies I enjoy, the hobbies I call loner hobbies, the hobbies you suggested I meet women at and I said it is considered rude to do so so I don't, just to meet women? I'm gonna be honest I'm having a hard time following your logic here, it seems like this was just an attempt at a veiled insult. You think "meet a woman" means plow her behind the porta-potties, stick a $20 on the cumshot on her forehead, and say "get your self a cab?" No, I would like "a coffee date," we'll see if I'd like "a dinner date" based on that, etc. That whole "hopefully finding a person you want to spend time with, and they reciprocate the feelings" is called "dating" by most of the world. Or WAS before dating became "Tinder."
I guess. Still sucks for those of us without whatever hobbies you have though, I don't even know what hobbies it is not creepy to ask a woman out while doing, ime, that is "all hobbies."
I've always been curious about trying a cooking class, that would be a fun meetcute. But it should probably be only for singles and idek if that exists😂
Tbh a cooking class might be good anyway lol, I'm shit at cooking.
Normie
Where are these stats about how often men approach women
As someone highly inclined towards the scientific, I am also wearily awaiting said statistics...
No, most men have not said that.