i (m28)'ve known this girl(f23) only for weeks, we've matched on tinder, and decided to meet, some of back story, i am a man that rarely open up my heart to other girl, but when i open it, i opened it as wide as i can, i only have 2 past relationships before this..

the first meet (30 December 2023) we,'ve talk alot about our backgrounds, we are having fun, at least ive seen it from her gesture that she's having fun and we laughed a lot, we've talked about our past relationship, and how our past relationship ended, she told me once that her past relationship ended on September 2023 after 9 years because on the last moment the relationship becomes so toxic that she can't hadle it anymore, and we've talked about our love languange and what treatment that we love to receive. the first met was great, she even invited me too her event to celebrate on new years eve with her friend at some club,

the 2nd meet(1st January 2024) before i tell you our 2nd meet, ill give you some story before it. ok you guys already know that she invited me to her event, but unfortunately i cant join her because i already have plans with my friend that i already arrange far before matched with her on tinder. so i texted her that i cant attend her invitation, she's lil bit sad and said she's okay with that, ok so we celebrate our new years eve seperately with our own plan, we've texted each other a little bit, she even text me some wishes and new years eve message on 12am and she said what she really wish we could be together to celebrate new years eve,

skip to around 5am, she texted me that she want to meet me, she's begging me to hug her, and she told me that this is not some drunk text, so we chose one place to meet, and we meet, she said she'll be waiting me inside her car,, after i arrived she invited me to get in to her car, so. i got in. after i got into her car, we talked a little bit about how are our new years party going and having a little jokes and laughs, after that we just sit there in silence while she just hug me and lean on my shoulder, this goin around 20-30 minutes. after that we went our seperate ways to go home to sleep,

skip to around 1pm she texted me that she will go to meet her friend and she invited me again, she want to introduce me to her friend, because i already have a feeling for her i instantly accepted her invite, and we meet at some cafe at around 3pm, so she introduced me to her friends and her friends is very welcome, we talked a lot, jokes around having a lot of laugh, we driving around jump one cafe to another cafe, walking around at some side of city, and here's the thing she's already know my love language and how i love to be treated, my love language is physical touch and i love when somebody give attention to little things i care, and she show it and gave it all on our second meet, and vice versa, she said she loves it when i gave her word of affirmation and some quality time. so i gave her that, and because of that i really falling for her, it felt like everythings great, and we fell for each other,

but it all goes downhill from here. after our last met, she's been avoiding me, she took a long time to reply my messages, she didn't want to meet me, she said she's only tired and need some rest, so i gave her a time and space.. but she keeps acting like that until 4 january 2024, i confused, i missed her, i even told her that i miss seeing her, she just reply with some laugh emojis and ask why i miss her, so i called my friend to get some help, my chest is hurt so bad, my legs felt weak, i'm hungry but i can't eat, i'm tired but can't sleep, i'm stressed but playing some games didn't gave me any fun, i need to work but i can't focus, all i want to do just lay on my bed, stare blankly, sad, cry, thinking about her, so i decided to call one of my friend to get some help, and tell all my feelings. my friend encouraged me to looking for an answer, he told me to ask her why she's been avoiding me, and act this way,

so i gather all my courage, and texted her, telling her my felling for her, and asking why she act this way, and why shes avoiding me, maybe im wrong to put some pressure to her, im little bit pushy about this because i need an answer immediately because i cant live like these anymore.

at first she reply my messages , telling me that she thank me for the feeling that im telling her, and she said she was wrong, she said she felt like she didnt ready yet for new relationship, and i asked her, should i stay and wait for her to be ready, or should i go, and despite all the hopes i put on her, she didn't text me back,

so for the last part,
tomorrow morning i start my day exactly the same as yesterday, not in the mood of doin anything. till at 2pm, i already back home, just sitting on the couch hoping that she will texted me, and then she suddenly texted me, asking me why am i act like these, and i reply that i don't know, im just crazy for her, and this never happened to me before, and she immediately reply that she wants me to go and despite all the hopes i put on her, and she said good bye and she just deleted my number, i know it because we usually texted each other on WhatsApp, suddenly i felt that my heart is shattered to pieces, the pain I felt is becoming more massive , i ran to the bathroom, to cry because i dont want my brother to see me cry, i spend about 30-45 minutes in the bathroom to cry, and talking to myself, and until the time i write this story i kept thinking about her, everything that i see just kept makes me remember her, i spend my day thinking about her and really want her to come back, please help idk what to do anymore, am i going crazy? and what is this all about, and why am i like these?

edit : Pardon my english,