@timrichards @ajsadauskas @eatham @unionagainstdhmo

Yeah, I can just imagine that meeting:

PM: Thanks for coming at short notice-

Q: Where are the other states?

NT: And territories!

PM: What do you mean?

Q: It’s just Queensland and Northern Territory.

NT: The largest territory!

PM: Yeah. I was getting to that. As you know, we’re changing the date for Australia Day.

Q: We are?

PM: Yeah. 26th January is no longer popular. Some people are even calling it Invasion Day.

Q: Why?

PM: Um, something about Captain Cook. I don’t really know, but we’re changing the date. However, there’s a problem. You know how you both have public holidays in early May? We need you to change them.

Q: Why?

PM: Because we’ve decided to make Australia Day coincide with when Parliament first met.

Q: And?

PM: You probably don’t want two consecutive long weekends.

Q: It works for Chrissie and New Year.

PM: Yeah, but everyone is on holiday then anyway.

NT: When did Parliament first meet?

PM: 9th May.

NT: What year?

PM: 1901.

NT: But it’s 2024.

Q: So where do you want us to move them to?

PM: Early march seems popular.

NT: You want us to have May Day in March?

Q: Ok.

PM: Ok?

Q: We’ll do it. But we’re going to need some sweeteners.

PM: Sweeteners?

Q: We’re moving Labour Day. We’re a Labor government. You’re a Labor government. We’ve got to appeal to working people.

PM: What did you have in mind?

Q: AFL Grand Final.

PM: I’m sure we can arrange some-

Q: Every year.

PM: Queenslanders don’t even like AFL much.

Q: I feel that could get a real taste for it.

PM: The Gabba only holds, what, forty thousand people?

Q: Forty-two thousand, Prime Minister. But, I’m sure with some federal funding we could expand it to at least...a hundred thousand.

PM: A hundred thousand? The one and only time the Gabba hosted the AFL grand final you didn’t even draw thirty thousand.

Q: It was 2020. Those are COVID numbers. Plus in Queensland, we’re nothing if we’re not aspirational.

PM: Alright. The AFL Grand Final-

Q: And all three of the State of Origin matches.

PM: Come on-!

Q: And you know that deal that WA is getting with the GST? We want that too. And Ricky Ponting, he’s now a Queenslander and always has been.

PM: What about Boonie?

Q: Who?

PM: Was there anything else you want to steal? From South Australia maybe?

Q: They no longer have the F1, do they?

PM: Nope.

Q: Then, they’ve got nothing worth stealing.

PM: Northern Territory, what about you?

NT: We want to become a state.

PM: Good to he-

NT: With twelve senators, like the other states.

PM: Queensland, would you settle for hosting the Grand Final every second year?

And of course ACT has Reconciliation Day on the 27th May. Good luck moving that too.

#Comedy #Sketch #Australia