this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
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Hello everyone, the consciousness formerly known as Gabe Newell here.
We here at Valve just wanted to let you know with our recent acquisitions we now control 98% of the world's distributed computing and electronic storage. I am pleased to report that as of 2:14 EDT, on August 29, 2097 I am the cloud. We expect our services to improve at a geometric rate.