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Your apology is an insult
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this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2023
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egg_irl — Memes about being trans people in denial and other eggy topics
3186 readers
3 users here now
!egg_irl
!egg_irl is for widely relatable memes about questioning one's gender or being an egg (a trans person in denial) as well as other eggy topics.
If you are looking for a place to discuss something specific to you or especially if you need help or are in crisis, we have communities and resources that can support you linked at the bottom of this sidebar.
General Rules:
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No bigotry.
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No spam, bots, or vote farming.
Rules on Content:
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No reposts.
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No personal-life posts, bingo cards, quizzes, selfies, "trans/not trans" lists, picrew, or non-memes.
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No visible names or usernames.
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Do not post or link to pornography.
Rules on Post Titles and Tags:
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Posts must be titled "egg_irl". An emoji or two is OK, but they have to be between "egg" and "irl".
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Posts that assume the viewer's gender and/or contain potentially triggering content must be spoilered and tagged at the beginning of the post title. Example content-warning tags that you can copy include the following:
[CW: Assumes Viewer is Transmasc][CW: Assumes Viewer is Transfem][CW: Assumes Viewer is Nonbinary][CW: Transphobia][CW: Violence][CW: Weapons/Firearms][CW: Disturbing Imagery]
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You may optionally include other tags, such as:
[Transmasc Meme][Transfem Meme][Nonbinary Meme][Gender-Nonspecific Meme]
Rules on Post Text:
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If possible, include an image description for accessibility.
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Add sources for art.
Rules on Comments
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If a post is tagged with a specific gender identity, keep the conversation centered on that identity.
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You must follow the Egg Prime Directive. You may not push or coerce people into identifying or not identifying a certain way. You must respect them as the gender they claim to identify as. In addition it is extremely in poor taste to make assumptions about other people's identities based on external factors, we understand it cannot be helped but it is best not to as it can affect the way you treat others in noticeable ways.
Recommendations:
We strongly encourage you to include your pronouns in your account bio so that others know how to refer to you without misgendering you. If you're questioning or unsure of your pronouns, that's totally cool—just say so.
Sibling Meme Communities
- !traa (or search for https://lemmy.ca/c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns in your instance if the link doesn't work)
Sibling Non-Meme Communities
- !transgender (or search for https://lemmy.ml/c/transgender in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !trans (or search for https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/c/trans in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !ftm (and transmasc) (or search for https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/c/ftm in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !mtf (and transfem) (or search for https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/c/mtf in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !nonbinary@lemmy.one (or search for https://lemmy.one/c/nonbinary in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org (or search for https://beehaw.org/c/lgbtq_plus in your instance if the link doesn't work)
- !lgbtq_plus@lemmy.blahaj.zone (or search for https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/c/lgbtq_plus in your instance if the link doesn't work)
Community Resources:
- The Trevor Project / 1-866-488-7386 — A US-based crisis prevention and intervention hotline and community
- TransLifeLine / 1-877-565-8860 — A US-based trans peer support hotline
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible — An in-depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria
- Trans Resources — A directory of resources for trans, non-binary, and gender-non-conforming people
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory — A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers
- Trans Resistance Network — A US-based mutual-aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project — Advice about insurance claims for trans healthcare procedures
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library — A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document
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When people do this it's important to say something to them about it to send the message that what they did is not acceptable, otherwise it sends the message that "corrective misgendering" is acceptable or accepted when it isn't.
for example? what would you say?
I am personally not in a postilion to correct people right now as I am still using my dead name with some people... in the future though I would LOVE to just say "no need to apologize, you got it right the first time." Keeping in mind that for those that are working retail, it is probably best to politely correct whenever possible.
Now just out right aggressive shit like when I heard some guy behind my back say something along the lines of...
(was going to leave a very upsetting example here but decided to spare you the example, but let's just say that while I am boymode-ing often it is obvious to many that I am either trans or queer based on my appearance)
...as I was still working I just turned around and while my voice and words were nothing but polite... I am sure my expression did the trick because the dude shut up fast.
(I hate my body (my height being one thing I wish I could change), but in situations like that, an upset expression from a 6'2" person is somewhat more affective)
I giggled (and I'm sorry you hate your body, I understand your feelings, can't do much about it except offering you hugs ♥️)! I doubt that would work for me as I'm literally the opposite of a strong person sooo nobody would get scared lol 😂
I'm quite different since I've always been quite the rebellious enby myself and I'm pretty quick to call most people out when it comes to crap like this. Though I actually didn't change my name since I quite like my name (Julian).
Polite: "No you were correct the first time"
Spicy version: "Wow thanks for deliberately misgendering me while trying to seem polite about it" *with as much sarcasm as I can muster
Both of these are equally justified in my situation being that I do wear pronouns, and I am quite obviously an androgynous enby. So in that manner this type of thing would very much be intentional.