Dogs

She was a rescue and I adopted her when she was 3, maybe 4, we were never sure. She was a breeder in her past life and abused. She came with all the neuroses that any rescue has mashed up in all the weirdness of a Boston Terrier.

She’s had ambulatory issues over the past year, but they didn’t become a problem until November. She went from occasionally stumbling, to constantly stumbling, so losing the ability to stand. She’s been able to move around, roam the backyard and house, and generally get where she wanted to go. But this morning I took her out, she made it down the ramp, took a few steps, and then fell over. She got her feet back under her but couldn’t get up. She struggled for a moment before giving up. She looked scared and confused because her body wasn’t doing what she wanted it to. I went and tried to help her, but even with help she couldn’t stand.

I thought I still had months with her, I’d hoped to make it to the summer when I know she’d have been happiest. But as the morning progressed it was clear this was a significant change. I took her to the vet who agreed… it’s time. I called my ex wife and we agreed together, it’s time. She cancelled her day and came over. We spent the rest of the day spending time with Mercy, giving her all her favorite treats, as much as she wanted. We remembered all the good times, went through the thousands of photos and videos in our phones. We laughed a lot, we cried a lot more. The vet arrived at the house at 6pm. I carried her down to the vet’s car at 6:46pm.

It all happened so fast. I’m in disbelief now 4 hours later. My life will never be the same. I miss her, and a part of me died when she crossed the rainbow bridge.

Mercy, you were the best, and you are desperately missed already.