Kink at pride discourse sucks (64.media.tumblr.com)

submitted 2 years ago by balerion@beehaw.org to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

94 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[-] alyaza@beehaw.org 13 points 2 years ago

this is the definitive image on all LGBTQ+ gatekeeping discourse, in my humble opinion (but especially during pride month.) i am constantly obligated to say: i don't care if you think asexuals aren't valid, or bi/pan lesbians don't exist, or yadda yadda we need to keep pride safe for work. shut the fuck up! these don't matter!

and while i'm sure some people do hold them very sincerely: it's definitely conspicuous how i have almost never heard these positions expressed in any real-life queer space. these issues are so distorted by online spaces in terms of how prominent they are, and it's worth remembering that

[-] balerion@beehaw.org 17 points 2 years ago

I'd rather have kink at pride than exclusionists at pride.

[-] Theroddd@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 years ago

100% Rather things that push the edges than nothing at all.

[-] Stumblinbear@pawb.social 6 points 2 years ago

I'd rather have neither

[-] balerion@beehaw.org 17 points 1 year ago

Hard disagree. Kink belongs at pride. It's always been there and is a part of our history. Kinksters are often the people who work the hardest to keep us safe, and who will fight the cops beside us if needed. Besides, pride is specifically a celebration of freaks and weirdos, the kinds of people whose sex lives are condemned as immoral by the majority. Kinksters have every right to be there.

load more comments (45 replies)

[-] jerkface@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Tough. Kinky people can be gay. Our sexuality is just as valid as yours. "Deal with it!"

Edit: I just notice you might be being ironic, saying you want to exclude kink but don't want to have exclusions.

[-] Stumblinbear@pawb.social 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Hi I'm gay. Kink isn't a sexuality. People who like Bluey can also be kinky, but that doesn't mean the show should show kink. You do you, but I still don't like seeing kink in public places. 🤷‍♂️

[-] balerion@beehaw.org 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Genuine question: Why should anyone care what you like to see in public spaces? I'm honestly curious if you've examined that train of thought. Why should your personal feelings even enter into what is and is not acceptable in public?

Besides, you're a furry, yes? Every argument against kink in public is equally applicable to fursuits in public. "But those people do weird sex stuff and when I see them it makes me think about it" is every bit as true of furries as it is of kinksters.

Personally, I'm a little grossed out by some of the things I see among kinksters at pride. But I'm an adult and I can ignore harmless things I dislike.

[-] jerkface@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Kink isn't "a" sexuality. It is a label we put on some people's sexuality that covers galaxies of different things. It can and often does refer to fundamental features of a persons sexuality without which they do not function on a sexual level. What they all have in common is being marginalized. Like you're doing now.

[-] Bicyclejohn@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 years ago

Wtf is kink at pride?

[-] balerion@beehaw.org 18 points 1 year ago

Your response was a refreshing reminder that normies don't care about this stuff, so thanks for that lol.

Kink at pride is BDSM enthusiasts (and similar) at pride, often in BDSM gear.

[-] Bicyclejohn@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

How did that become part of pride, wtf do they have in common?

[-] balerion@beehaw.org 25 points 1 year ago

The line between kink and queerness has historically been very blurry. Being gay or trans was once considered a sexual fetish just like any other.

Kink has always been part of pride; it did not "become" a part of it. Both kink and queerness are sexual identities that are marginalized by the mainstream, so it makes sense that they would come together to throw bricks at cops.

[-] AwkwardChuckle@beehaw.org 21 points 1 year ago

There has historically been close links and ties within the kink and lgbtq+ community. Leather is (or more so was) a huge part of the gay male scene.

[-] jerkface@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 year ago

Pride is an expression of sexuality. Proving to ourselves that it is okay for the world to see us as we are. Some people's sexuality is kinky, that's just the form some people's sexuality takes. When a kinky person is gay and they want to express their sexuality, it's going to look kinky.

It's kind of like asking, when did being black become part of pride? Some gay people just happen to be black!!

[-] alyaza@beehaw.org 16 points 1 year ago

Pride is an expression of sexuality. Proving to ourselves that it is okay for the world to see us as we are. Some people’s sexuality is kinky, that’s just the form some people’s sexuality takes. When a kinky person is gay and they want to express their sexuality, it’s going to look kinky.

there's also a long history of these communities existing at pride, even if they may not inherently be queer. bear, leather, and BDSM communities to name a few have been intertwined with pride and the queer community for basically as long as there's been pride!

[-] jerkface@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 year ago

Exactly. Straight kinky people face persecution to this day! It's not nearly as bad but when I started going to munches, it was absolutely taboo to ever use a person's real name, because just being there placed people's careers and family relationships in jeopardy. It's the same fucking fight.