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[OC] Brackish (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 months ago by Imotali@lemmy.world to c/poetry@lemmy.world

All girls corrupt like waves of brackish salt
Stolen from the world their youth the delta mix
Lies are told to make them think that it's their fault

Though women try to shield them from the stiffened gault
They are dashed and churned into those bluish bricks
All girls corrupt like waves of brackish salt

A purity they chase as if their ends they think they'll halt
Yet purity escapes and dies along the River Styx
Lies are told to make them think that it's their fault

As girls do age and stiffen up like malt
To be like brick and stone for society's new picks
All girls corrupt like waves of brackish salt
Lies are told to make them think that it's their fault

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[-] spicecastle@lemmy.world 0 points 8 months ago

Love it! Also, idk why but for some reason the word „brackish“ sounds really beautiful to me. One question though, not sure if this might be a language/culture barrier thing, but what does „delta mix“ mean?

[-] Imotali@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

A river delta is where it meets a lake or the ocean. Where you would find brackish water for a fresh water river like the Amazon or Mississippi Rivers

this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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Poetry

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A community to celebrate published and OC works of poetry.


Welcome to !poetry


Guidelines & Community Rules

In addition to the general rules of lemmy.world:

Published Poetry

1a: Poetry posts should include the title and the author, when the author is known.

O.C. Poetry

2a: Sharing original poetry is encouraged, but it must be preceded by the tag "[OC]."

2b: If an [OC] post is requesting feedback, it should also follow with the "[FB]" tag. It would look like the following example:
[OC] [FB] Nothing Gold Can Stay

Feedback

All feedback should be given in good faith.

3a: All [FB] requests should be met with comments constructive in nature. It is okay to dislike parts of a poem, but make sure to explain why you feel that way.

3b: Feedback does not need to be extraordinary in nature. Simply expressing how a work makes you feel is often enough.

3c: Use the honor system. When you receive good feedback, return it in kind to another author. Everyone appreciates knowing their work is being read and appreciated.

As this community develops, these guidelines may be adjusted.


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Work in progress

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UPDATE:
Some methods of access do not format markdown correctly. I am currently testing various apps and web interfaces to see what does and does not retain formatting.

In the interim, it is encouraged to post text poetry as you normally would, but to include a link at the beginning or end of the post with access to a website or image that retains the formatting as intended.


Other Poetry Communities
Poetry lovers unite! In the style of the fediverse, multiple poetry communities have arisen, and will continue to rise. I will try to keep a list here of communities across instances that are worth checking out!


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